Then i went to a birthday party where one manager happened to be and the first thing he said was "please don't be late for work tomorrow...." I was livid, thretened to leave the party but then thought to myself "what the heck is wrong with you?" So i went to the bathroom and go a grip on my emontions. I did cry for a minute much later when someone decided to play an awfully melancholic song my Queen and I kept saying I wanted my mummy which muct have been embarassing for them because they know my mother is dead. I say that as a joke but i know some people sometimes get uncomfortabkle.

anyway, a day before that i had thretened to quit work because something wasn't going right. I felt like i was working with ididots and i was tired of being undervalued.

Happily i think my hormones have settled ...a little bit any way. im still tired but i have decided i will go to paris and stay in a hotel and maybe phone him up and ask him to join me for a drink if he's got that, not that im bothered if he doent or doesn't. mmhhh, maybe the hormones havent quite settled then. That's the beauty of being a woman

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Anyway, the party almost didnt happen because she was thretening not to attend or help cook. the usual thing then. I arrived with a friend and the party was almost in full swing. everyone was dressed up, there was a couple there young looking couple, a brazilian boy and a portuguese girl and one other flatmate who is portuguese but his stunning girlfriend is french. they are barely in their 20s, i should have felt ancient but i was actually in my elemnet. I can handle young men and women. We all chatted, a weird woman i had met at the flat before came in, my friend didnt recognise her(the one who lives in that flat), she started speaking to the girl i had come with. they are both from Poland and discovered they know the same person/families etc. The playboy husband started saying a few phrases in polish which my friend translated. he knows a lot of intimate terms it seems...the bone of contention between the coupld. Why does he need to know "i love you, i miss you, i wannna make love to you" in polish when he has a portuguese wife.

Most people know he has a girl from poland who keeps telling him she wants to spend her life with him. He tried to get "fresh" with all the girls there and his poor stubborn wife was getting upset. Otherwise the food was great, they'd got a massive fish from the market,it looked more like a shark and everyone devoured it and more.

later on asi was leaving, the other boy(with the portuguese girl) came down to say goodbye and told me he wants to invite me to his birthday party and blew me kisses. i blew kisses back, i was slightly tipsy and of course i was flirtting with everyone. Last night i got a text from my friend in the flat telling me the young man was asking for my phone number. I said, he's mad, his girlfriend will kill him and me after. I also asked how old he was. Apparently he is 21. he looks it or younger. It apppears he'd also asked if he could sleep in my friend's bed on the night of the party. I didnt bother to ask where the girlfriend was expected to sleep.

I am not looking at barzilian men or boys. they seem to want their cake and eat it too. but a 21yr old is just pushing it too far with me...

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Then on saturday "elliot" from Holby city came to my cafe for coffee. we had a new girl who was in training, i came back from my break to see a man waiting. I took one look and had to stop myself from doing a double take but he looked staright at me and smiled ...just a hint. I did the same and made his coffee again(because i knew it would be great!). i really wanted to gush and say "I love elliot" but i thought it best not to. The poor man was just out for the day and didnt need to be accosted. I do the same with carol thatcher who is always rather jumpy and all over the place.she always looks down as if trying not to be recognised but with her 2interesting2 outfits, you cant miss her.

I thought it couldnt get any better but yesterday an unshaven and rather dishevelled graham Norton decided to walk his dogs(with a friend) along the south bank. fair enough, fresh air and everything. When they got to the clink museum the one dog wouldn't budge. I was coming round the corner when i heard him say to the friend"um...is that a poo or a pee". The guy and in a highly cam voice and striking a pose said "oh definitely a poo!". so graham rummaged through his bag for a poo bag i guess and then one memeber of the public decided to congratulate him in a loud voice for picking up after his dog, calling him Mr graham norton as well. I think graham wanted to punch him but he couldnt because he had to scoop poo.

A rather interesting weekend seeing our so-called celebrities trying to be...civilians. Liz hurley's word not mine.

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Hello,
From: jackson_1969@sohu.com
You may not know this sender. Mark as safe | Mark as unsafe
Sent:15 August 2008 05:35:47 PM
To: jackson_1969@sohu.com

Hello, Wishing you, your family and well wishers a happy, joyfully and prosperous New Year! I hope this mail meets you well. I duly apologize if am interfering on your privacy if this request is not acceptable to you. First, I didn't come to you by chance nor by accident, I have come to you because your names has planted you in the centre of relevant in my life and my professional career as a banker at this very moment of my life. But before I go further I will like to introduce myself to you for better understanding. My name is Mr.David Jackson, Banker with a reputable bank here in Cote d’Ivoire ( Ivory Coast ) and I am contacting you in regards to a business transfer of a large sum of money from a dormant account. Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that all will be well at the end of the day. I was the personal accounts manager to a deceased customer, a foreigner, Mr Joseph , who had an account with us here in Cote d’Ivoire ( Ivory Coast ). On July 7, 2005, series of coordinated terrorist bomb blasts hit the London Subways, resulting in the loss of more than 52 people and unfortunately my client, his wife, and their three children were among the people that died on that fateful day. Since then I have made several inquiries to your embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives but has been unsuccessful. After several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his last name over the internet, to see if I could locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. Of particular interest is this huge deposit with our bank here in my country Cote d’Ivoire in west Africa (Ivory Coast), where the deceased has an account valued at about (15 million British Pounds Sterling).They have issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or our bank will declare the account unserviceable and thereby send the funds to the bank treasury. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for the past years, I will seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased, since you share the same last name with the deceased so that the proceeds of this account valued at (15 million British Pounds Sterling) can be paid to you and then you and I can share the money. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us seeing this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under all legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. In your reply mail, I want you to give me your full names, address, date of birth, telephone and fax numbers. If you can handle this with me, reach me now for more details.I can be easily reaches through this email id jack1_69@yahoo.fr Thanking you for your anticipated cooperation. Sincerely, Mr.David Jackson.

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I am frustrated because he was sent to some kind of rehab, I think as soon as he started displaying withrawal symptoms, they sent him home, said he sick and he should be sent to hopsital. I dont understand, i am not getting clear communication from his mother, my sister, or my brother so im sitting here feeling miserable and unable to help. what will a phone call do? I want to see if he can get proper help and in a proper rehab, he can't just die at 16!! i couldn't bear it.

Another friend/colleague today looked very depressed. I teased him and said maybe he was having his period. he can be such a drama queen when he likes. Eventually he called me outside and explained why he was especially grumpy today. he is feeling depressed because he feels like he is wasting his life and can't decide whether to stay in London or move back to France. He had a zexual encouter last year without a condom, the fucker gave him HIV/ I think it was a big step for him to trust me and off load. he hasnt been for couselling. insists he is ok, clearly he isn't.I can offer an ear but i think he needs to talk to professionals who can offer him hope so he slows down and doesnt think he'll die soon. His depression worries me, it's simmering beneath the surface and i am afraid he might hurt himself. He is only 26!!

I insisted today that he sees someone and even offered a place i know of in west london. I have offered to go with him to a couselling centre of his choosing but made him promise to honour his commitment sometime in this coming week. I will be upset if he doesn't do it.

I think it was a little too much for me to get all the news today. I care a lot but i would rather not have heard all this. I now want to have a good cry and i'm not even a crier usually.

Thank you for lending an ear, i had to offload

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Other than that, the food was great, I have never seen so much alcohol:spirits, wine and beer in the entire kitchen. I stuck to a soft drink bar a shot of vodka because it is apparently a polish tradition to toast like that. Maybe they were trying to getv me drunk. However i danced to cheesey music, dirty danced a little bit and left to go home just before midnight in case i turned into a pumpkin. I did flirt a lot which was fun and was quite happy to leave those boys panting with their girlfriends or alone.

However my body hurts. I feel generally tired, my wrists hurt all the time, im not sure if it's from the keyboard or making coffee. I get cramps while im sleeping and have to elevate my legs on two or three pillows. My shoulders and back hurts. I think I need some tender loving care. I need a holiday or to go to one of those farms(or is it spa? )where i can be massaged from head to toe, get a colonic irrigation or whatever, drink lots of lemon tea and just sleep a lot. Maybe i'd feel better. As it stands now, i feel my body falling apart slowly and i am afraid it might just stop working one of these days

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I think my jaw nearly dropped. I had to explain to her where it was exactly(she isn't circumcised) but she still refused to look in the mirror once in a while and check whats down there.

I think her husbands cheated when they were going down on her. clearly they were missing the mark or she'd know

Am i right to be shocked?! I still can't belive she dioesnt know where it is

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Number one, i reponded to the email and i was very spportive, she keeps changing her email addresses so it's not my issue if she didn't get my message.
Two:Her issues with Belinda, who i incidentally knew before I ever met her but kept my distance because they kep competing for my attention by saying bad stuff about me and attributing it to each other, has nothing to do with me. I kept my distance from both of them, but we've kept in contact on and off.

I have my own issues to deal with, and i dont demand my friends to drop everything everythime. I have to female friends who although lovely have to see me all the time even when i want time to myself. Then they think it's personal, i dont like them anymore.

I think women should sometimes grow up. If they have deeper emotional needs than just a pep talk to a friend, then therapy is available. I think i am a supportive friend, and they tend to take me for granted because i always make time to see them even if i would rather be curled up in bed because i'm damned tired. This silly email though was the last straw

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I turned round, took my mobile to ring his superior and told him what had trnspired. he tried to intturupt and told me to come down and take a little break. I told him i was going home to think about my attitude ajnd i'd see him hnext week. He was like a rabbit stuck in headlights. really impotent in his response. He said maybe the little boy did not feel respected(like i care? i mean his self esteem issues are not my rpoblem), so i took my stuff and left.

I had a really well-deserved 3hour nap, went out with a friend after and went to my landlord's birthday party after that.

Ive never been so livid and happy at the same time. i felt bad for letting the team down but i wont have a finger jabbed in my face and be told to shut up. he wasnt talking, i was speaking to someone esle and he was seeking attention.

I am wondering if i should lodge a formal complaint because he has upset several people before and one person quit because of him...

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The men are just inappropriate, they say the same things the boys say in a polite manner.

So what's a girl to do?

I am very very frustrated with getting texts. silly texts. Do men know how to pick up the phone and ask for a date...i mean the ones i meet. I got a text asking me what days i am free to maybe go out. I replied by saying "ring me and tell me exactly when and where you want to meet. it's that simple". Why is the responsibility shifting to me?

If we agree to meet at Nottinghill gate because you want to take me out for drinks, why do you then ask me if I am hungry and then ask where i want to go?? What is that about?

Too bad I am too nice and polite because i only said, "you pick" and this was a man not a boy.

Girls aren't much better. girl friends are treating me like their boyfriends. "hi, i havent seen you for two days, i must see you or i'll go mad".

Get a puppy girlfriend, im too tired to play boyfriend.

phew!)

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1. good health at the moments(though it's up and down emotionally)
2. The ability to be empathetic and be there selflessly for friends and family
3. A roof over my head although i bitch about it constantly
4. a friebndly disposittion
5. the courage to do try things even if they dont alwys succeed.
6. Intelligence
7. a job so i can pay bills. some people are worse off.
8. my ability to write(when i put my mind to it
9. a nice body(narcisisstic i know but i gotta appreciate it)
10. a caring family...most of it anyway

i TAG

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He is one of those people who'll chat to everyone and he surprised me by asking a couple of women to join us, or rather rbing their tables closer to ours so we could chat and he started chatting them up straight away. His opening gambit was that"oh, princess and I have been discussing swinging and swinging clubs' I couldnt belive he said that and went to great lenghts to explain that we were not a couple and no we weren't swingers. how could he. Anyway, their male friend swept in and the discussion swiftly moved on to relationships and dating. They talked about a friend of theirs who'd just broken up with a guy after 15years(she is now 35yrs and in tatters!) and I couldnt help but express my views on people who date on forever, perticulalry as women have a shelf-life. realistically speaking, we have a window in which to marry and start a family whereas a man could carry on till he drops dead, with a little help from viagra perhaps

Anyway, i made an expample of someone dating a guy for 10yrs and then breaking up. I said i didnt see the point particulalry if the woman's aim was to get married. One of the girls said rather haughtily that she'd actually dated someone for 10yrs. I asked if they were still together. NHe'd dumped her after 10yrs and now she was hankeing after some married guy. I rested my case then. Other than that almost tense moment. I had fun at the bar. Lots of girls were after my friend who isn't exactly bad looking, He kept looking at himself in the mirrors which i chastised him for. Other girls asked me if he was my husband(we dirty danced at some point) and i gave them the green light to go for him since he isnt mine.

A really great evening, i got chatted up by a couple of girls, one of whom was supposedly getting married in 3months time.At the same time she was trying to match make her cousin with my friend because she hasnt had a realtionship for a while. She said her parents would be mortified and maybe kill her is they found out. She comes from a very strict chinese household but clearly she likes to have her fun.

I didnt pull, but that was ok, i wasnt out on the pull. I want to take my friend sophie back there soon, she needs a man and fast!

This past friday i went out with another friend, i admit I drank a little and as a result ended up showing him two pictures of my nether region(long story which i wont go into now) His comment was "you have a designer fanny, lots of women pay to have a fanny like yours". I laughed it off but i couldnt belive I had done that, actually i did, i think there is an exhibistionist lurking inside me, besides my face wasnt there..clearly so i took it as a compliment. It's certainly better than sending the picture to the wrong person, but i made a mental note to leave my phone behind next time. my fingers seem to take a life of their own sometimes.

S my friend was so worried when i texted to say i think im a bit drunk, she instructed me not to fall asleep on the bus and tell the driver where i was getting off. i wasnt particualrly and i got home ok on the tube though i stuck to orange juice and water on saturday and sunday. Our friend who moved to Italy a year ago is coming to Londonon friday and we are having a girly night out and going back to the restuarant round baker street that we had her farwell at. I recall the waiters were really cure and i was put in charge of ordering the booze and food. this time, there'll be 4 more girls to help us along and i think i might shock them and stick to orange juice...fat chance

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I stare in bewilderment at my friend who says "let's get pissed" whilst inwardly thinking my liver deserves better.

I stare at my computer screen uable to read an emailing i have been anticupating for i think i will start weeping uncontrollably again. But i read it, and it's not as bad as I feared.

I stare in horror at the washing machine that i left on to do my laundry. It started drying everthing because it was on the wrong setting. Im lucky it disnt burst or burn for it is only two weeks old.

I stare in the mirror and start to panic for i dont see someone who might be mistekn for an 18yr=ear old anymore. I see womeone in pain, confused, misguided but determined.

I apply some lipstick, my armour to face the dreadful weather outside.

I stare straight ahead and get on with the business of living

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With my birthday two weeks ago(thanks Antlady, Sean,and Neil for your emails), i had a lot of fun. It was a three day clebration since the various friends I have can't necessarily meet. There are born again-christians who refuse to go into bars or pubs as they think it's a sin, then there are others who talk about sex and (sex)toys all the time, those who confess to being bisexual and share their fantasies casually over drinks so u can understand why i had to see them separately.

Anyway, on the thursday, the actual birthday i went out with a girl friend and we demolished a bottle of chardonnay. We were rudely interrrupted by another girl who was demanding to see me the following day or she wouldn't turn up for drinks on saturday. I told her off and put the phone down. This is someone who says she has to see me atleast once a week and it's true because she rocks up at my place of work to "pick me up".

Friday was the dinner with the more subdued and less outrageous friends. we went to a retsuarnt in nottinghill, i was late for my own do, one girl got the too early, there was confusion with the table and our table was given away so i had to shoo-out my friend who was getting dressed at my place to go and sort out the mess as the other girl's phone calls were doing my head in.

It worked out well, they all said i looked stunning(i guess you have to don't you?) but i had taken care with make up, wore a white summer dress, miraculously london was quite warm that evening and made sure my cleavage was shown to the best advantage. I didnt mind when the guys at the table talked to the cleavage instead of me.

Saturday was drinks day with a totaly different group at a bar round the city. We all missed out last tubes, (too much red wine). i fell alseep on the night bus, woke up in Action and had to pound the pavements back home. I must really be getting old. at 1am, i got a text from a friend saying"i am home, are you ok?". I wasnt because at that stage i had taken my shoes off and was walking barefoot. Naturally there were no buses going in my direction and so I eventually got a bus 10minutes from home. I got in at 4am and had to be up for work before 6am. That was never gonna happen, i was two hours late for work, my kidneys hurt like hell but i functioned. Someone mistook me for a 20yr old and it just made my day.

I got lingerie as a present from a girl friend and she said she hoped i meet a nice man this year and wear it for him,. Well i havent met yet so i wore the set for myself the other day. Of course i took a picture and used it as a wall paper on my mobile, only to forget the phone at a certain wagamama yesterday. When i remembered and rushed back, the waiter wanted to play games, and i told him my phone had some rather saucy pics so i need it back. He pressed the standby button and just went "oh my god!!" and it was only two bra ensconed melons. he is lucky he dint get to see the boobs in the flesh and im sure he had some rather nice dreams.

Flatmate is pissing me off as usual. Landorld had a nervoue breakdown and was diagnosed with other health issues, he is now in a hospital...for the moment. the mind is coming back tho for he was able to tell one of the staff at the hospital that he would like another cup of tea as the other tasted like cat'c piss. He's got a sharp tongue.

I think i'm slowly getting myself back together if that is possible. I'll get the eventually and hopefully be around blogland a lot more.

cheers

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Anywayy, having been umemployed this week, i have been getting up later(that's after getting up with palpitations at 5am and then going back to sleep), and generally gone out after 12noon. I decided to go to the west end today, i was looking for chaep trainers, so i walked up and down and of course i went into all the shops...most shops. I saw some stunning purple/violet shoes at Schuh! the problem is they cost £60 so i had to fondle them and move along.

Anyway, while braving the fog and the cold, I sunddenly spotted an amzonian looking woman in sheer black tights, the shortest hot pants, stilletos and horribly bleached hair.The roots were still dark at the bottom or maybe they were just growing out.

You should have seen the men. and the women From coppers to city boys to tourists every man went past her and stared, one guy bumped into a lamp post when he turned around.

It was hilarious and truly made my banal afternoon. I wondered if she knew the effect she was having on the male population. she must have with the fake fur coat. atleast she cares about animal wealth, or maybe she doesnt like being pelted with eggs by members of PETA.

Anyway, she had a cute ass, i mean it was all out there, i never saw her face and maybe it's for the best. I turned and had dinner at nandos. There is a nandos just off oxford street. i was very surprised but i probably needed the cider

Interesting day. I am invited to abirthday party this weekend in Canary wharf, i am friends with the birthday girl but there will be a bunch of strangers i have never met. I wonder if i should take a packed dinner!!! I have been thinking of calling alcoholics anonymous. I dont think i am an lcoholic but i think i might develop a problem so it's better to nip it in the bud...also i could fit into my sexy dresses if i lose the weight and stop the booze although it's not all the time to be honest
You should have seen the

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My new job isnt going very well, i was made to understand that the new boss was a bit of a lunatic but he is constantly reminding me there is a cooling off period and i may not have the job afterall and its the whole learning thing: i have put my eggs in one basket before.

So i am now in a panic, if i dont have a job in a week, in days, will i crawl and eat mud like snakes? do they eat mud?!
I feel like dwoning a bottle of wone, not because i desire wine but because i seem to think drinking will numb me. Maybe i am truly on my way to alcoholism although i have been pretty good in the past few days. I guess i just need to quell this feeling in my ribcage before it overtakes me.

I cant deal with my home sitiutaion, my financial situation, my work situation anymore. I dont want to die but i dwant to cease to exist momentarily if that makes sense.

To top it all off, my dentist has messed up my teeth even more. 5days with new fillings and my tooth is bleeding and there is a gaping hole.
does it ever end

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On the other hand, i have a job interview tomorrow and the guy was literally gushing on the phone after seeing y quickly-drafted CV( the mind boggles!). Granted, a friend has been scouting for me, she used to work there,head office asked for a little info, i dranfted an email which impressed them enuff to ask for a CV(which i didnt have since i lost disks with a "master" copy). anyway, my boss wants an answer tonight but i am going to delay it till tomorrow morning.

They would be flxible with my study period i think(although u never know), but i have been there a long time and god knows i have bitched enough on these pages about that job. Do i say no and try the other one although i might have to quit it soon because it is stricly mnday to friday or do i go for the low pay just so i can get a title for the future? it seems slighly non-negotiable the start although i think it's because they think im a bit of a push over. i have stalled enough, it's just that everything came all at once and I am having sleepless nights.

I also need to save money for my course and the only way i see how is by working seven days a week(perhaps the new job +my current) for 2-3months and then maybe seeing if my current job has more openings? i am quite willing to leave the social care . do i go for money and then uncertainty or no money and more unhapiness?

help me coz i nees to sort something out. If i say no to my current boss, then there is no point in tomorrow's interview. if i say yes, and then change my mind i have burnt bridges.

Some advice or opnions would be greatly appreciated as I am highly confused.
Ta

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In case you are interested
cheers
Marco

"SPICE GIRLS tickets!!
For
this fri at O2 Arena in london.
They were £170 for the two and they are
good seats! (front tier, right in middle in front of stage!)
£170 for
the pair...any takers please contact Charlotte directly at.....

i dont want to see the damn spice girls!!!

p.s. i am now holding the line to speak to someone at a psychics collge to book an AP to see a medium. am i crazy?

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my flatmate, ever considerate organised a new year's party without telling me, knowing full well that my friends were coming over. I woke up to find a girl cooking in the kitchen(whom it turns out is a big TV star as i saw her in the next few days on telly and even googled her). I had never clapped eyes on her before otherwise. she was/is a nice girl though. they asked what i'd be doing in the evening and said i should invite my friends over as they had texted and emailed people on the spur of the moment.

It turned out well. a rather cute boy came in and my one girl friend came running to my room to tell me about him. we both wondered if he was gay. I promptly changed from the outfit i was wearing(jeans and an unremarkable top) to a smoking mini dress and put the warpaint on. my friend never stood a chance as when i walked into the sitting room, i plonked myself between cutey and she on the sofa(that should teach her not to sit on the far corner of a sofa wetting her pants, while a guy she fancies sits on the other end) . his opening line was "oh, so you are the infamous housemate" and the flirtation carried on from there. I was on my third glass of champagne(which flowed the whole night) and so it was quite easy to flirt outrageously. When he complimented one of the guys on his sense of dress(awful!), i commented on that because the other guy was blatantly gay. He hastily said something about an ex girlfriend and that he was a ladies man. I thought he was too young, maybe 25 at the most although i guess a man is a man right?

Regrettably, he left before midnight, kissed me on both cheeks and both hands. I like to think he was too shy to kiss me on the lips...i was shy to grab him too coz at that time i was fantasising about pulling him into my roon and pulling his jeans down and doing unimaginable things to him, so resraint was required!

In the end, after all the food the music, the dirty dancing by the tv star with all the men and my flatmate dancing some kind of erotic dance, some people left and then there were six. the guy who had turned himself into the resident waiter with all the moet and dom and cristal(oh yes!!)kept it flowing although myself and a friend saw him rather too close for comfort with that girl. he was her guest anyway and she said they were friends but were they kissing friends?? hard to tell although they seemed intimate, both rather tall and him rather well- built as he apparently climbs mountains/hills and cycles around... I never really looked at him throught the evening, he was just the waiter although i could tell he was built.

Then, at 4:30am when a cab came to get his "friend" the tv girl, and my flatmate's sister and friend left, he turned to me, having manfully carried all the rubbish and all 15bottles of champagne downstairs and hugged me. oooh, i felt like i would melt. It was natural that when we parted we would kiss although i stress he came toward me and i met him the last quarter of the way. sadly it wasn't a frenchkiss but it was enough to make me wonder what it would be like to play tonsil hockey with him in those powerful arms. It's also made me look thru all the photos from the night and scrutinise all the video clips. there is one with just his hand passing in front of the camera.

I regret not giving him and his hands a closer inspectionand i hope he will come for dinner.Maybe i should ask my flatmate to invite him and leave us alone. grrrr

Happy new year all

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It disturbed me a little bit. They were trying out the "thrill lube", thats the one thats supposed to tingle(and it does because i have tried it), fortunately they weren't trying the lube on their fannies although theykept lifitng their legs and spreading them and using the word "fanny". in the end when they got bored with the thing not tingling their palms(it ain't meant for the palms right?) they wiped their hand on the train seats. I thought i would retch!

I did give the one who screamed a lot the evil eye and her friend told her to stop screaming. It seems they are going to use those as stocking fillers although one was terrifed of her mumm finding out.

I'd like to know why a shop would sell girls under 13yrs in their school uniform sex lubricants. \

Christmas has taken a whole new meaning i think. I guess better safe than sorry for them.

On that note, enjoy the festivities/holidays next week.

Happy christmas and best wishes for the new year

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hi
I am sonia I saw your email address today in conversation word and found you worthy to be mine as some one whom i can lay on his arms as long as love is concern, caring and teassing you all the nightlong, If you are interested in knowing more about and for me to send you some
pictures of mine please contact me
thus,,(soniadion2004@yahoo.ca)please am wainting for you with alot of kisssssssssssssss and love.

Is this for real? i dont think hotmail takes phishing or junkmail seriously. i alsomost laughed at this, then i got pissed off.
you see the xmas season is stressing me out already. I had intended to just send a few xmas cards, no presents or to totally ignorethe whole thing. I have probably spent enough to feed a small village in african right now thereby starving myself. Is it worth it? do they appreciate the gifts? there isnt a great selction out there and they are all horrendoubly overpriced. a little hand cream, a little gift set all going for 20-30 quid. who cares? will they use all this sht we buy? why am i even compelled to shop for people who dont even think about me./ whjat is wrong with me?

I hate the month of december, i hope it passes really quickly!

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Miss Tall told me a while ago that someone from the past saw her and asked if she was pregnant. She was offended by the question obviously and i couldnt imagine that she'd gained so much weight that she looked pregnant.Then she sent me recent pictures from her engagement party and she looked stunningly beautiful, not a bump in sight. However, seeing the photo of the three of them today....my first insitct was when did she get pregnant?! she has a nice round belly and she was wearing skinny trousers with a fitted top and it looked to be a a sexy pregnancy belly.

I emailed back and theanked them for the photo, commenting that the curvy one looked great(which she did, I was seeing her for the first time in a dress looking girly), i commented that miss Tall still looked taller, after deleting stuff about her having to watch out. The other one has shed much of the baby weight but she'll never be as skinny as she was.

So where did i go wrong? eventually i couldnt resist and sent her a text saying she should reduce the sherperds pies (because she had said how much she bakes then and eats). of course she was offended and said she thought we had all agreed to stop discussing weight and asked what it was i was trying to say. I said apologised and said i didnt mean anything by it(which is a lie) but still said she should be careful.

Now i am feeling very very guilty. I wish i had had the self control and not done anything because it wasn't nice and it was hurtful. So i was a shitty friend and she hasnt responded and i am wondering if i should phone later.

She still looks pregnant tho...

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A bit of a crises, with my being sick, B has been calling constantly wanting to know where I am and what im doing and wanting to meet for drinks and coffees. B is a friend who is strating to get rather annoying and seems slightly obsessed with me. I cant be too harsh on him coz i dont know how he might flip. he just phoned me now to ask why i didnt reply his text message and i told him i went to bed early, im still trying to recover from whatever the hell i've got. I had to cut him off pretty fast but it's really draining.

Interesting thing: ive taken some pictures of my tits with my new camera phone, out of boredom more than anything(ive never had a phone with a camera and all the other things). naturally, i showed some pics to some people(boys and girls).At work yesterday one boy said he never thought i'd be the type to take such pictures but he really loved them. his first reaction was "it can't be you!" and for the entire evening he was apparently talking about them(according to the manager) who also seemed befuddled. they are tasteful pictures and the one they saw i have turned into my wallpaper but the nipples dont show, so they see my upper torso and a bit of boob. The one guy who is a friend saw it by looking at my phone when i wasnt looking. sometimes people think we are dating but i would never date him(eeeooow!). He had the audacity to say " they can't be yours because gravity would have taken it's course and if they are really this good then i would have paid to look at them." he then went on about how the picture doesnt look like me and so on. My response was that unfortunately for him, he will never have the pleasure of seeing him in the flesh and that they are still as upright as he saw in the phone. I am pretty ceratin he went home and wanked after, particulalry since he hit his head against the wall trying to leave.

Anyway, i thought maybe i should put up the picture here(if im brave enuff, and hear your verdict) what do you think?

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My landlord who is about to sail away to the caribbean(thank goodness!) wants us to finish all the alcohol he has bought before he leaves. I told him we will probably die from alcohol poisoning by the time he leaves. We had red wine yesterday...well the remnats from his dinnerparty on saturday where all the women were ex-girlfriends. more like ex-fucks really. Two of them were adamant that they want to spend christmas with him. he lied and said he wont be on the island. Apparently two exes battled it out for his attention last year and we are talking about people in their 70s here. What a life!

He told me about a friend of his who died from the excessive use of viagra, and he claimed he died with a hard on! i didn't beive him but it sounded funny after a glass of wine and we both laughed hysterically, particualry when he said he has no experience with viagra and i sniggered.

I guess I just want to get well and go out and about instead of staying in and watching i'm a celbrity get me out. I can't belive how bitchy they all are especially towards the american janice, because the americans tend to have bigger personalities in this show. is it jealousy? i think so.

Anyway, enough of my bitching. I hope u are all well and healthy.

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I took it and threw it in my wardrobe and forgot about it. Last Wednesday, in a moment of sheer panic whilst wondering what to wear to a friend's birthday dinner, the corset fell out whill i was hurling clothes about. The only problem was what to match it with. I tried a skirt, it didnt look good as it wasnt a pencil skirt. I tried a pair of balck trousers, they werent the right fit, but i finally settled on another pair of black trousers, applied make-up quickly and got ready to go.

The dinner, at a trendy restaurant in westourne grove was at 7pm and living a mere 6mins away on a bus, i was still late considering other girls were coming form other corners of London. I had to run for the bus, which made breathing even more difficult in that contraption and it was the same as soon as I sat down to dinner. I briefly wondered if i should just unzip it and eat with my boobs on display. afterall i Had a very nice neclkalce on so that would have been enough. I tried to calm myself down so i could breath normally but it was too late.

The phots look great. The corset looks wonderful, but i am still massaging my stomach so the rest of my organs can get back to their rightful spots.

Corset are a calamity and don't belive anyone who says otherwise!

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And then, there is my friend B who left his "foodstuff" (if you want to call granola and butter that) with me for two weeks and has been hounding me at odd hours. fortunately I made sure i met him in the street last night, at 23h00 as I had to travel from a friends place to give him what belonged to him. I had a mammoth headache at the time and truly wished i had had a dribnk to dull the pain. He hugged me three times and kept calling me baby and i excused myself and left.

Now, i have been invited for dinner tonight by a sane friend and i have to go to a birthday party tomorrow where i am expected to dress up and drink a bit.

I'm knackered and the whole thing is a real bitch!

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2. JOhn, who is a random guy i met at my street corner on my way to buy lemsip kept ring, unfortunatley i couldnt meet him.

3. Yesterday, random boy at london bridge tube who liked my earring struck up a conversation. he managed to get my number and he is phoning today for a dat. me thinks i made a very good impression. I should watch out,I talk to strange guys a lot as if i have known them for ages. He seemed nice enough, he has a good job and his own place. But...he is too short.*sigh*. still a nice night out to dinenr mightn't be bad.

4. Boy I went to school with whom i was on my way to meet yesterday when i met shorty. I rather suspect they work for the same bank at canary wharf. Small world. Anyway, we had dinner and a great conversation and laughed a lot. Havent seen himn for atleast 7yrs and he is no longer shy. It felt a bit like a date.

5. kevin(a friend who is ultra christian) who rang me yesterday. we are meeting today. yes he has a girlfriend(although his friends used to think he was gay in scholl), but he is great to hang out with and im sure we'll have a good time.

6. Older middle eastern man(not quite sure which country), on the tube on my way back from "date" with schoolboy friend. he started chatting to me and flirting a little. naturally i chatted back and well..flirted back! i think he wished the trip would last longer. he got off at green park.

7. Friend whom i'll call B, texting me at midnite to keep a couple of items of shopping for him coz hed lost his keys. wouldnt say where he was gonna sleep(logic dictated that he'd take his muesli and spread with him!). I went down to meet him in my PJs(i was in bed), he kept staring at my tits and made me uncomfortable. told me i looked cute and called me baby. my skin crawled but i have to be careful how i deal with him.

8. Alan, who rang last night lamenting our non-meetings and discovering he knows the boy i saw yesterday. They both dont have notes to compare except to say how fabulous i look perhaps!

Men men men. good and bad, but it's fun to finally start thinking of juggling them, although i find that difficult. a few dinners wont hurt will they

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It seems i am at that time again when men of all sorts come out of the woodworks. I was acoosted by a guy on my way to buy ginger and other cold busting remedies. Im pretty sure i looked like hell because i sure felt like it, i could barely speak at the time and he asked for my number. I agve it to him. He rang twice, sounds sane enough but he will lose interest as I dont seem to have the time to see him.

The american boy who chased my friend's for my number turned out to be a wanker. never turned up, gave stupid excuses about traffic the first time and then some cobblers about playing netball the next. I dispatched him to the nearest hell...in so many words!

The slave begged me to have a drink with him. he was ever so grateful, afterwards he phoned me begging to come in for coffeee. what??? i told him to go to sleep.

Vienna: to cut the long story short: I didnt shag him. I guess I am a good girl at heart. I did lie to him when we went to the zoo and told him I wasnt wearing knickers. He spend the whole day pre-occupied with the state of my pussy. he kept asking if it was warm enough(it was a slightly chilly day and i was wearing a dress). This amused me because i think it was turning him on. I never put him out of his misery, he keeps emailing asking if my pussy is as beautiful as my boobs wbhich he still thinks about. Indeed it is, i told him, i said if he'd asked i might have let him have a peek. Arent i bad!

Now i need to recover and start blogging properly again.
cheerio

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We went to a fair afterwards and took one of those speedy horrible rides after going into a "jack the ripper house of horrors". I screamed. a lot. Particularly when the lift was hurtling up and things were dropping in, lights going out then then being suspended mid-ride. It was all in good fun though. Getting home around 11pm, i put on the "war paint" and put on my little black dress as I had promised him. OOh how he loved it. Cleavage, make up and my telling him i wasnt going with knickers on must have brought him close to the edge!. I'm sure he wanted to check and make sure i was bare but i wasn't gonna let him. sometimes one's imagination is more potent than actual information.

Anyway, we got the club, and it had changed a lot from the last time he'd been there. Let's just say a lot of the men couldn't exactly admire me as they were too busy admiring each other. I did get a couple of appreciative glances and hellos but that was all. I must be getting old because by 2am i felt like i was falling asleep on the dance floor. We left half and hour later got back to his flat, but then he started panicking about having to spend the night at Frankie's place since she was expecting him to. Basically they've been together 2yrs, his first relationship at 43yrs. She is a bit controlling, wont even give him a a key to her place but she had to this time since she was away and he couldnt play with me...or so she thought

So i said goodbye, he wanted to kiss me, i offered him both my cheecks and a little hug and waved him off. He didnt sleep the whole night as he told me. Not my fault i said!!

Real fun

When he came in the follwing morning, i was still in my PJs.We had breakfast while he read the tabloids and we saw the equivalent of a page3 girl there. I thought her tits were fake, he disagreed as he had felt fake tits in a strip club in Hungary before. I still think they were fake. Later on after my shower I put on this push up I got at a market in Italy for 2euro. Good bargain for a la perla and no it wasnt a knock off. Anyway it gave my bust a real boost and a friend happened to ring while i was strugglinh to zip up my dress. He knocked on the door, i let him enter with my top half still exposed. He said my boobs looked fake and so I told him to come and feel them. I instructed him to close his eyes, but he said he still wasnt sure.So i unhooked my bra and let him fondle my right boob. he opened his eys and i rebuked him. He closed them immediately again. I have to say as soon as he touched them I felt myself go warm "downstairs. That was totally unexpected. After a few seconds I told him he'd felt enough and he could go. That set the tone for the whole day as we continued flirting.I was "warm" for most of the day. I had on a white dress which i imagine makes me look a bit like non-virgin Mary.

We went around the city, flirting the whole day and when we went home later in the evening, he confessed he didnt think he would be able to sleep again. What i didn't realise was that he was sooo turned on that he really wanted to shag Frau Frankie that evening.Well, i guess shag me thru her. She said no. She was mad because for the first time in their relationship, he was having fun on his own terms and he'd actually gone out without her even though she goes away once a month alone with a friend to dance all night with a guy and ogle other men or do something. I dont understand it but hey, who is asking?!Maybe she sensed his attarction to me i don't know.

I felt rather naughty that night since he'd left his laptop on for me and showed me some porn website he visits sometimes(i was sitting on his lap at his insistence then), after he left i looked at some porn and had a jolly good wank after. I decided to up the tempo the following day by wearing a yellow summer dress without a bra, that gives me a great cleavage and is a bit see thru. I also told him i'd shared what had happened with a friend and the friend had dared me to let him touch my boobs again since it had turned me on. After my shower, i went past the kicthen(where he was cooking us a lunch) starkers and asked him some inane question and moved on to dress.

After i'd put on the dress, he told me he thought i should keep my promise to my friend about letting him touch my boobs. So I let my dress drop at the top(was still wearing jeans underneath) and let him touch them.he seemed to be afraid to touch them and i told him they weren't fragile he didnt have to be so tentative. Then he pecked each one and i thought"you've got a long way to go my brother!". he turned me round and sat me on his lap and continued and when i tried to break free and didn't let go. So there we were going around his sitting room with his hands glued to my boobs. he let go eventually and we were able to go out...

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