I have a mirror inside my head. Sometimes I look into it and wonder what my purpose for being is.

Sometimes i "look at the reflection in that mirror and think what a wonderful, complex, intelligent, funny, compassionate and pragmatic creature you are. At other times, i'll think what a stupid stupid girl. What are you doing to yourself. Why do you dither and never make decisions.How can you cope with the person you have chosen to be. Are you who you really should be.

And then, I think to myself, "sod it, you are thinking too much as usual".

However, sometimes I look into a real mirror like now, and in my time of solitude i feel grateful for having compassion and having friends and aqcuaintances who see the good in me. Those people who feel a couple of words of encouragement or a simple smile and a squeeze of their hand has made a difference to them.

In that moment, i don't feel so useless and hopeless anymore. In that moment I accept that I am a drifter but I am not drifting towards the tide. I am drifting towards my destiny and can change direction at any time.

I fee a littl sad right now. It is not because I am depressed as such but rather because I feel a change somewhere at the back of my mnd. I can't quite put my finger on it. It will come to me. However Perhaps it's because I wont have solitude again for a long time but I feel blessed that a friend gave me the opportunity to chill out(with her cat ) and try to recentre myself.

My health has improved, my weight hasn't but i am grateful for the little angels out there who look out for me when i lose hope.

Now, i am going to gorge on a lmab rogan josh prepped by yours truly.

For those of you feeling a little down or lost, remember it doesn't last forever.

Happy weekend everyone