Today I am determined to buy a new pair of jeans that fits well. One pair's zip is buggered. Another pair has a hole somewhere in the thigh region im pretty sure it's the friction from tube seats not getting fatter, another pair is too tight at the moment and exposes my bum cleavage and i have had to throw out a couple of other pairs. In other words I do not have a good pair of jeans!!! They said on morning TV that shops are actually reducing waist inches to make us think we are thinner. so if your jeans say "30inch" at the waist, it actually means 36! ouch! I think we should just believe the labels for our own peace of mindMaybe i should be going for dresses!

The good thing is my extra inches means I have a cleavage from heaven at the moment:p I am not sorry to say it looks rather divine and I could see the guys coming down the stairs at the tube ogling it while i sashayed up and pretended to ignore them. I still sort of avoid looking at the long length mirror which is difficult as there is one right on the front of the batroom door so the is no way to go in without seeing myself approaching.

So mission number two should be to get running shoes. cheap-ish ones. im gonna start with walking briskly and i'll graduate to running. I want my toned thighs back! I can't believe they are gone. I know i am getting on in age and everything slows down but i am trying to eat chillies as well and make my food extra hot and also eat lots of veggies. They(chilli peppers) are supposed to hurry the metablism. I sure hope so because i am determined to get a new bikini and flaunt my beautiful booty later on in the summer. The boobs will probably go but i can forego those for a properly sculpted body.

Does anyone think Kate middleton had a lucky escape? I think she certainly had a wake-up call. She could have learned from my ordinary life: planning your existence around a guy who knows they can have anyone is always disastrous. Never mind that people say they met too early or that college romances don't last but the truth as far as I can see it is that she was too devoted to him and they took the relationship a bit too seriously.At 24. they should've started late like me. Now if she'd been going out with her girlfriends and making him aware there were other guys interested he wouldnt have taken her for granted. Maybe if she actually gets a proper job and becomes her own woman he'll still keep an eye.

Either way, I am available and he'd bloody work hard for my affections and yes, he'd be lucky to have me!!

Ok, enough drivel, i feel more postive today. I still have issues in the mouth(teeth ulcer), a problem "down there" bit of thrush not too bad, im nippin it in the bud but it's such a pian. I feel like Im falling apart even thought i feel a lot better emotionally.

Oh, and I am having an assessment on wednesday for the course work sent me. Hoisting someone up, cleaning them up, food, health and safety and so on. I have only been there twice but i hope it will go well. I don't want to do this job anymore but geting the assement out of the way means I can move on, with some piece of paper to boot.

Happy monday