mmmh, not sure what i'm going through. I am grateful for the fact that i have a roof over my head. course i am. I am just not sure if it's the roof i want to be under. I am not sure if i am suddenly becoming obsessive with cleanliness.Ok, the microwave is filthy. I mean i don't think it's been cleaned since it was bought so i must clean that if i am to use it and i shall need to soo. the one fridge has gone green inside but mercifully the other one is clean but the freezer is tiny so i can't buy my frozen veggies. I know peotobello market is minutes away but i am away during the day and really cant be arsed to buy fresh produce there daily.

My room doesn't close properly so i can't lock it from the outside although i can from inside(don't even ask). Since the washing machine doesn't work, i have to go to a laundramat which is fine but i wont wash and dry there. my budget does not allow, so i shall have to figure out ways to dry my stuff. As spacious as the flat seems to be, there actually isn't a lot of space. Storage space or space for anything else. I'll need to buy some more pots coz new roomie leaves his food in the pots for days. Christ, i feel like ive walked onto another horror flick though im not sure where the horror lies yet.Which begs the question: is an address everything? everyone winks or oohs and aahs when they hear where i stay. they tell me people would give an arm and a leg to stay in that area(nottinghill) but if you feel where you are is a bit shite so what? happiness is more important than an address to me. Maybe it's the change in weather. maybe my bitching will stop in a few days. maybe not

I overslept this morning, was running late but i didn't care. i am treading on dangerous ground as far as my work is concerned. Also i stopped off at my bank, the putney branch, asked for statements and promtly forgot a rather juicy Jackie Collins book i am reading. I got to hammersmith and hopped on another bus back to putney hioping against hope that the book would have been handed in. It was. There is nothing more annoying than reaching the climax(of a book) ) and then losing it without getting to the wind-down bit.

Sienna says she feels sad and deflated in one od her posts. I feel the same. I want to clean everything in the new flat. Bathroom, kicthen, my room, the doors. everything! I feel cramped and yet i should be feeling elated for having my space. I guess i have to play everything by ear for the moment.

Saw a job advert for a communications officer. right up my alley. Dobn't think i'll get it but it might be worth a try. Anything to get out of the mind-numbing stuff im having to deal with. We shall see.

im a bit tired actually