1.Got a bollocking from Deciever on Saturday evening. The bastard rang me up to berate me for not having called him for help whilst looking for a place to live.Conveniently he has forgotten all the horrible things he said to me and about me apres carnival. I just listened as he attacked my character, telling me i always do things backward and he stopped trying to understand me a long time agao. I suspect what had really flipped him out was the fact that Geezer had rung him(well he has property connections but im not gonna go and ask him. it's bad for my health) and so he ranted on about how he had to hear from people(geezer) who can do fuckall for me. I did not ask those "people" to do anything for me. That they called him has nothing to do with me and his massive ego is not my responsibility. But God i was upset afterwards. i must have texted three people after to bitch. The friend whose house i'm staying in at the moment rang me and at one point I was really close to tears. Talking to Deciver brings back awful memories. someone said maybe that's the way he shows he cares. Well, i know he can show he cares in a caring gentle way if he so chooses, just not with me. He is always angry and venting and like a victim i just take it. In the end he was screaming "hello, hello??"down the phone coz i wasnt responding. I calmly told him i didnt want to bother him and that i was just listening to him venting. Talk about bursting a bubble. Dunno what he wants. anyway, he said He'll see what he can do. Does thatr mean i should suspend the dungeon? he knows the dungeon guy, apparently they are friends and so he might have halted him already. I dont have thre courage to ring him yet. Shit, talk about a spanner in the works! What's a girl to do??

2. Having bought three train passes that i did not use adequately coz i don't know how the fuck to travel and change over on the overland(don't laugh ), i decided to get the oyster today. (I have lost a couple already. I kow you just go to the ticket window and pay a £3 deposit and you are all set. So i went to the window in Hammersmith.I said to the customer service assistant, Michaela "I'd like to get an oyster card". she said" what do you want to do with it" I must have looked at her like she'd just chewed her left buttock off! I said "I'll get a bus pass on it later" she said" there is no point getting an oyster if you aren't going to do anything now". Clearly there was a language barrier and Michaela should be sacked for we are being told to get oysters and she doesn't know why.

In the end I told her "I know there is a £3 depoit to pay for the card. Can I just get it and decide what to do with it later?". She had to ask her colleague what to do, how to process the whole thing and so on. WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING IN THAT OFFICE???. So Ive got the card. I need to figure out a way to travel with it without paying too much. I am two hrs late for my weekend gig as it is coz I live where there is no night bus to getme to the nearest tube on saturdays, worse on sundays. Im fucked!

3. I am freaking out because i have a few strands of grey hair. For heaven's sake i am not even 30yrs old. I am sure it's the stress It msut be. Not even in the middle somewhere, right at the temple. Okay it's three strands but they are clear and visible. the way I understand it's irreversible. Maybe i must just accept it and move on. I mean there are bigger things to worry about right?! Wrong!! I am gonna die my hair blond or red. That should solve the probelm. maybe i should shave the whole tihng off and wear a beanie for the rest of the winter. Someone asked me where the ahirs were when i lamneted earlier. definitely on my head, not anywhere lese!!. She told me to pluck them out and maybe invest in wigs:p. You'd think the world had ended but hey, it's my issue and i am very worried.

Since having access to sky temporarily, I have stumbled upon naughty programs like sexcetera. last night they had a programme on swinging. don't worry, i listened a bit and rolled over and slept.I have lost a disk with vital info and I don't know what i am going to do I do not relish unpacking everything that's already scattered all over the room but i might not have a choice. And I am resolving to start my writing seriously tonight. I am in the mood and poverty is pushing me really. Won't be crappy like my blog, or atelast I hope so.
cheerio