I hate my disseration supervisor. in fact I wanna throttle the bitch ands feed her to the lions, or dogs, whoever is at hand. Nuff said.

I hate the fact that i'm piling just into my syetem. Starch, like croissants, muffins or crisps which constipates me and bloates me.

I hate that i am eating chocolate, and adding extra potions to my plate.

I hate that I can't sleep at night, beofre midnight and wake up too tired to go to work.

I hate the shower at my new flat which is mercilessly cold.
I hate that i have been a mug on many occasion

I hate that I am being observed by an assessor tommorow and I am afriad everything will go wrong.

I hate that i wanna drink some wine and drown my sorrows

I LOVE that I'm not tipping the scales yet so my walking does my thighs some good.

I LOVE that i can bitch on, but i am still taking actions to change my life. Like applying for career-appropriate jobs and being positive about the future.

I LOVE the fact that people see the goodness in me that I sometimes blind myself to.

I I LOVE the fact that i haven't lost my marbles and counter my sadness with positive thoughts. Hard work, but i do try

I LOVE the release blogging gives me.:b
whew

Miss fabulous ass had a great argument with the boy from Botswana at work today. The only snag: he speaks perfect English(being from the commonwealth and all), and she can barely string two sentences together, perfering to bitch in Polish with her compatriots so there weren't proper fireworks!. She ended up calling him "crazy" and he calmly asked her to give a good reason why she thinks he's crazy. I thought "atta boy!". basically she wanted to tell him what to do even though she isn't his senior. She has shagged the manager and so she is rather insolent and gets away with it. It doesn't help that the other female manager (who is also polish and rather biased when it comes to dealing with issues)has said on several occasions how "she hates black people". There are only two blacks there so you can imagine.

She wants to fire the current girl who is shagging Mr shagga-thon because apparently she is being "immoral and abnormal!". Fuck off I said. what is the difference between the current shaggee and Miss Insolent-with-a-nice-ass? She is Latvian, miss Insolent is polish. End of. Otherwise they have both fucked a manger who is married and who'll stick it into anything that's moist. I told them to ditch the double standards because nobody complained before, and they are fine to disapprove of immoral people but to fire a person, that's bullshit.

Also i have been "promoted" to team leader. whoppee! i get a 25pence increase in salary, to be reviewed in 6months. It is the new pay structure and since i have served my probation(according to the new contract), i deserve this. I almost laughed.I did laugh eventually after telling them exactly what i think I mean, i've been there for almost a year, on minumum wage, they know i'm itching to get away so they give me a glorified title(for responsibilities ive been having anyway) and tell me my salary is increased.What bollocks! I thanked them for the 25p and told them i'm willing to continue as i have been but don't they dare add-on responsibilities. They know well enough to leave me alone on this one. I am a on a bit of a tight-rope at the moment.

The cell, my cell, i mean my bedroom is stifling me. Mr hairproducts-all-over-the-place plays really loud classical music(his own compositions mostly) and he bloody hogs the living room like i have been warned. So, i have resolved to go off to Surrey tomorrow for a couple of days to do my laundry, wash my hair and have a really hot shower. I can't deal with the confinement and the frustration.

As if that wasn't enough, at 6am when i was trying to catch a bus, there were a lot of coppers on the street. they'd sprayed some guy with mace and he was bitching about not being able to see. The police kindly adviced him not to open his eyes:b. i thought it was hilarious. Further up, another guy, very big, black and strong was trying to explain why it wasn't him who tried to break into a car, or perhaps what he was doing breaking into a car. I wasn't quite sure but i liked his physique even in the dark:p

And then a very tall wonderfully sculpted specimen sauntered into the shop today. He was with a friend, They spoke in french and I felt my spine tingle. I could eat that man alive...or he could eat me anytime PLease!. Shaggee, came in from the back and immediately said to me "those guys are talking about sex". I said, i thought they were speaking in French. Maybe they'd switched to Anglais. But i was every excited. It's been a while since i have reacted like that to a guy. I hope he comes back next week.

I must go on a diet. No, i must change my diet. I am eating my veggies and all but i have taken to eating bread products now, something which is not good for my digestive system or even the size of my buttocks and thighs. It's good to have all that in abundance, afterall im all woman, but i am starting to think we might be talking spillage before christmas. heaven forbid!. if Mr sexy french stranger comes in again, we might have to seriously talk about sexcercising together. I bet he could scoop me up and do to me things I only dream about:p. He is soo tall, taught and...ooohh. the most amazing smile as well. need to do my hair soon. gotta give myself the best advantage

Enough already, i should really be typing up my CV to send the apllication for that job off. I have a good feeling about it though im not too hopeful. My current job needs to be references. That is a problem. And a personal reference....we'll see.

I should really visit geezer one of these days. he might think Im avoiding him since he got me the cell. Serves him right for I am now serving a six month sentence. Better a cell than a dungeon I guess

Miss fabulous ass had a great argument with the boy from Botswana at work today. The only snag: he speaks perfect English(being from the commonwealth and all), and she can barely string two sentences together, perfering to bitch in Polish with her compatriots so there weren't proper fireworks!. She ended up calling him "crazy" and he calmly asked her to give a good reason why she thinks he's crazy. I thought "atta boy!". basically she wanted to tell him what to do even though she isn't his senior. She has shagged the manager and so she is rather insolent and gets away with it. It doesn't help that the other female manager (who is also polish and rather biased when it comes to dealing with issues)has said on several occasions how "she hates black people". There are only two blacks there so you can imagine.

She wants to fire the current girl who is shagging Mr shagga-thon because apparently she is being "immoral and abnormal!". Fuck off I said. what is the difference between the current shaggee and Miss Insolent-with-a-nice-ass? She is Latvian, miss Insolent is polish. End of. Otherwise they have both fucked a manger who is married and who'll stick it into anything that's moist. I told them to ditch the double standards because nobody complained before, and they are fine to disapprove of immoral people but to fire a person, that's bullshit.

Also i have been "promoted" to team leader. whoppee! i get a 25pence increase in salary, to be reviewed in 6months. It is the new pay structure and since i have served my probation(according to the new contract), i deserve this. I almost laughed.I did laugh eventually after telling them exactly what i think I mean, i've been there for almost a year, on minumum wage, they know i'm itching to get away so they give me a glorified title(for responsibilities ive been having anyway) and tell me my salary is increased.What bollocks! I thanked them for the 25p and told them i'm willing to continue as i have been but don't they dare add-on responsibilities. They know well enough to leave me alone on this one. I am a on a bit of a tight-rope at the moment.

The cell, my cell, i mean my bedroom is stifling me. Mr hairproducts-all-over-the-place plays really loud classical music(his own compositions mostly) and he bloody hogs the living room like i have been warned. So, i have resolved to go off to Surrey tomorrow for a couple of days to do my laundry, wash my hair and have a really hot shower. I can't deal with the confinement and the frustration.

As if that wasn't enough, at 6am when i was trying to catch a bus, there were a lot of coppers on the street. they'd sprayed some guy with mace and he was bitching about not being able to see. The police kindly adviced him not to open his eyes:b. i thought it was hilarious. Further up, another guy, very big, black and strong was trying to explain why it wasn't him who tried to break into a car, or perhaps what he was doing breaking into a car. I wasn't quite sure but i liked his physique even in the dark:p

And then a very tall wonderfully sculpted specimen sauntered into the shop today. He was with a friend, They spoke in french and I felt my spine tingle. I could eat that man alive...or he could eat me anytime PLease!. Shaggee, came in from the back and immediately said to me "those guys are talking about sex". I said, i thought they were speaking in French. Maybe they'd switched to Anglais. But i was every excited. It's been a while since i have reacted like that to a guy. I hope he comes back next week.

I must go on a diet. No, i must change my diet. I am eating my veggies and all but i have taken to eating bread products now, something which is not good for my digestive system or even the size of my buttocks and thighs. It's good to have all that in abundance, afterall im all woman, but i am starting to think we might be talking spillage before christmas. heaven forbid!. if Mr sexy french stranger comes in again, we might have to seriously talk about sexcercising together. I bet he could scoop me up and do to me things I only dream about:p. He is soo tall, taught and...ooohh. the most amazing smile as well. need to do my hair soon. gotta give myself the best advantage

Enough already, i should really be typing up my CV to send the apllication for that job off. I have a good feeling about it though im not too hopeful. My current job needs to be references. That is a problem. And a personal reference....we'll see.

I should really visit geezer one of these days. he might think Im avoiding him since he got me the cell. Serves him right for I am now serving a six month sentence. Better a cell than a dungeon I guess

Miss fabulous ass had a great argument with the boy from Botswana at work today. The only snag: he speaks perfect English(being from the commonwealth and all), and she can barely string two sentences together, perfering to bitch in Polish with her compatriots so there weren't proper fireworks!. She ended up calling him "crazy" and he calmly asked her to give a good reason why she thinks he's crazy. I thought "atta boy!". basically she wanted to tell him what to do even though she isn't his senior. She has shagged the manager and so she is rather insolent and gets away with it. It doesn't help that the other female manager (who is also polish and rather biased when it comes to dealing with issues)has said on several occasions how "she hates black people". There are only two blacks there so you can imagine.

She wants to fire the current girl who is shagging Mr shagga-thon because apparently she is being "immoral and abnormal!". Fuck off I said. what is the difference between the current shaggee and Miss Insolent-with-a-nice-ass? She is Latvian, miss Insolent is polish. End of. Otherwise they have both fucked a manger who is married and who'll stick it into anything that's moist. I told them to ditch the double standards because nobody complained before, and they are fine to disapprove of immoral people but to fire a person, that's bullshit.

Also i have been "promoted" to team leader. whoppee! i get a 25pence increase in salary, to be reviewed in 6months. It is the new pay structure and since i have served my probation(according to the new contract), i deserve this. I almost laughed.I did laugh eventually after telling them exactly what i think I mean, i've been there for almost a year, on minumum wage, they know i'm itching to get away so they give me a glorified title(for responsibilities ive been having anyway) and tell me my salary is increased.What bollocks! I thanked them for the 25p and told them i'm willing to continue as i have been but don't they dare add-on responsibilities. They know well enough to leave me alone on this one. I am a on a bit of a tight-rope at the moment.

The cell, my cell, i mean my bedroom is stifling me. Mr hairproducts-all-over-the-place plays really loud classical music(his own compositions mostly) and he bloody hogs the living room like i have been warned. So, i have resolved to go off to Surrey tomorrow for a couple of days to do my laundry, wash my hair and have a really hot shower. I can't deal with the confinement and the frustration.

As if that wasn't enough, at 6am when i was trying to catch a bus, there were a lot of coppers on the street. they'd sprayed some guy with mace and he was bitching about not being able to see. The police kindly adviced him not to open his eyes:b. i thought it was hilarious. Further up, another guy, very big, black and strong was trying to explain why it wasn't him who tried to break into a car, or perhaps what he was doing breaking into a car. I wasn't quite sure but i liked his physique even in the dark:p

And then a very tall wonderfully sculpted specimen sauntered into the shop today. He was with a friend, They spoke in french and I felt my spine tingle. I could eat that man alive...or he could eat me anytime PLease!. Shaggee, came in from the back and immediately said to me "those guys are talking about sex". I said, i thought they were speaking in French. Maybe they'd switched to Anglais. But i was every excited. It's been a while since i have reacted like that to a guy. I hope he comes back next week.

I must go on a diet. No, i must change my diet. I am eating my veggies and all but i have taken to eating bread products now, something which is not good for my digestive system or even the size of my buttocks and thighs. It's good to have all that in abundance, afterall im all woman, but i am starting to think we might be talking spillage before christmas. heaven forbid!. if Mr sexy french stranger comes in again, we might have to seriously talk about sexcercising together. I bet he could scoop me up and do to me things I only dream about:p. He is soo tall, taught and...ooohh. the most amazing smile as well. need to do my hair soon. gotta give myself the best advantage

Enough already, i should really be typing up my CV to send the apllication for that job off. I have a good feeling about it though im not too hopeful. My current job needs to be references. That is a problem. And a personal reference....we'll see.

I should really visit geezer one of these days. he might think Im avoiding him since he got me the cell. Serves him right for I am now serving a six month sentence. Better a cell than a dungeon I guess

mmmh, not sure what i'm going through. I am grateful for the fact that i have a roof over my head. course i am. I am just not sure if it's the roof i want to be under. I am not sure if i am suddenly becoming obsessive with cleanliness.Ok, the microwave is filthy. I mean i don't think it's been cleaned since it was bought so i must clean that if i am to use it and i shall need to soo. the one fridge has gone green inside but mercifully the other one is clean but the freezer is tiny so i can't buy my frozen veggies. I know peotobello market is minutes away but i am away during the day and really cant be arsed to buy fresh produce there daily.

My room doesn't close properly so i can't lock it from the outside although i can from inside(don't even ask). Since the washing machine doesn't work, i have to go to a laundramat which is fine but i wont wash and dry there. my budget does not allow, so i shall have to figure out ways to dry my stuff. As spacious as the flat seems to be, there actually isn't a lot of space. Storage space or space for anything else. I'll need to buy some more pots coz new roomie leaves his food in the pots for days. Christ, i feel like ive walked onto another horror flick though im not sure where the horror lies yet.Which begs the question: is an address everything? everyone winks or oohs and aahs when they hear where i stay. they tell me people would give an arm and a leg to stay in that area(nottinghill) but if you feel where you are is a bit shite so what? happiness is more important than an address to me. Maybe it's the change in weather. maybe my bitching will stop in a few days. maybe not

I overslept this morning, was running late but i didn't care. i am treading on dangerous ground as far as my work is concerned. Also i stopped off at my bank, the putney branch, asked for statements and promtly forgot a rather juicy Jackie Collins book i am reading. I got to hammersmith and hopped on another bus back to putney hioping against hope that the book would have been handed in. It was. There is nothing more annoying than reaching the climax(of a book) ) and then losing it without getting to the wind-down bit.

Sienna says she feels sad and deflated in one od her posts. I feel the same. I want to clean everything in the new flat. Bathroom, kicthen, my room, the doors. everything! I feel cramped and yet i should be feeling elated for having my space. I guess i have to play everything by ear for the moment.

Saw a job advert for a communications officer. right up my alley. Dobn't think i'll get it but it might be worth a try. Anything to get out of the mind-numbing stuff im having to deal with. We shall see.

im a bit tired actually

Gosh it's been such a long time in the wilderness. I apologise for not having posted and hope nobody deleted me in a fit of anger

The madness has almost ended. I have come back to central London, having just survived living in Surrey. Where i was was really far but I was grateful for the peace and quiet. Just what I needed after the frantic flat search, the panic over not finding a place, the possibility of residing in a dungeon and possibly the loss of my mind. I saw a couple of grey strands on my head and thought:this is it, i am ageing prematurely. Somehow though, things have turned out ok. The slave came to help me move to Nottinghill yesterday. I was meant to be at my new abode at 7:30pm for dinner, adviced the slave on the quickest route to Sutton and i guess we got our wires crossed. He got to me just as the dinner was starting. I was too chicken to phone ahead and now my landlord who fortunately was departing to caribbean land today told me he was pissed off last night and called me all possible names under the sun.

We had the dinner, at 9pm after i'd run up and down with all my stuff. Now you know the room resembles a cell,(although on firday i though it looked a fraction bigger than whenh i first saw it). So now i have bin-liners with pillows, a huge laundry basket with books, bags and all other useless crap I cart around with me. I literally had to jump over suitcases this morning.I didn't sleep well, there was some draft coming thru the window and I was just restless. Claustrophobic I should say. So now i need to unpack, get rid of some clutter(not today) and make the cell look as big and comfortable as possible. I have a huge TV which will have to go I guess. I can't watch it as my aerial is with a friend, whose boyfriend landed from Iraq today and so she cancelled our Ap. I hope he'll be able to get it up for the reunion. the last time they spoke he was very traumatised and she had basically dumped him over email because he kept changing dates about coming back. not his fault but hey, the poor girl is like a soldier's wife and they arent even married and she is only 25yrs.

So I wont see "Im a celebrity get me out of here" and will miss laughing at Jan for being so annoying. I had almost given up on finding the disk with my disseration and my CV and was ready to to get a psychologist's letter, which wouldn't have been wrong considering what i have been put thru. I found it last night when i was packing. Miracles do happen, although i didn't win the Euro millions! not happy about that

I am going to scrub the bath and anything scrubbable in that flat. it's clean but it looks like two guys have been living there. One in his 70s(who is gone) the other in his 30s. He is a diva who wears make up and all the shelves in the bathroom are full of hair products! where am i supposed to put my toothbrush?? I think we are going to have a little talk, the sooner the better

Anyway, I should be grateful i have a room, the landlord won't be breathing down my neck. his god-son warned me to assert my authority with mister hairstpry. he tends to monopolise the living room apparently. Nice of him to warn me. he also invited me to his huge, huge (almost a castle really)mansion in Oxfordshire. i might take him up on the offer. he has a wife and two kids and they'll be happy to have me of course.

Not bad, i just need to get my bearings again and I'll be fine

oooh, trouble at work. There is a guy, who came about 3mths ago. I remember thinking he wasn't too bad. My colleagu8e at the time said he wasn't her type. maybe it's coz they are both polish. Nah, actually she likes then thin and scrawny. mmmh. anyway the guy'sname is michael.Well, that's the English version and since i wasn't sure I could say his name without mispronouncing it I asked permission to call him Michael. The guy is a big flirt. As soon as he started working he apparently(gosspi) got together with the girl who's got the most beautiful ass. yeah, she does. My booty comes a close second if i'm being generous otherwise im the "phine" one. she has a boyfriend, but she seems to be doing anything on legs with a c**k between those legs. Fair enough. Now apparently he is with another girl, whos isn't so sexy looking(sey is in the eye of the beholder right?). she's a bit on the big side, lacks confidence, i must admit i don't know how they got together coz he was sizzling with miss bootylicious. The current squeeze told me herself they were together, but she was too afraid to do the deed because" she doesnt have the best body". I coached her and encouraged her, told her the usual babble about being confident and sex having nothing to do wuith being thin. he likes her, she likes him so get on with it already!!. it seems they did but now sher is unsure again coz he's moody since they live in the same house. Oh, brother, this one ain't gonna last.

Yesterday, he was flirting with me. it started rather furtively but he got bolder and bolder and when he was leaving, he kissed his girl passionatley. I think she was a bit stunned. i thought it was exciting in full view of everyone. the manager told him to kiss me as well and i said "if you do you are never gonna kiss her again so better if you don't!". we all laughed but he kissed me on both cheeks but i tell you he brought his mouth fdangerously close to mine and i must admit i did think i could have kissed him back on the mouth and not cared. But i won't do that. He is a love rat and I won't add myself to the list of casualities at work. besides the poor girl is a bit distraught. Sghe knows he is a playa, she must just play while she's got the change. she is 20 for god's sake!!!.

Still I've got a cold, don't know where i gopt the germ from and i got hit by the coffee tamp thingy on the forehead and am now sporting a nice bump on the forehead and a light headcahe. No, it wasn't recorded as an accident at work. I should sue if i start losing my memory. I was asked to go see a client todayas an emergency cover and was warned the place looked like a Bombed city. I wasn't sure what to make of that staement. It was worse. It looked and smelled like a bomb city. I don't know how people can exist in situations like that but there you go.

SkyTv is gone. Now i miss silly programnmes like america's next top model and so on. My old TV is actually crappy now. maybe the lack of an aerial is making the problem worse.I'm lagging behind with my coursework Im am going again tomorrow(the course from work) and i just don't care. I found out my auncle(in law) died last friday. he has been suffering really, his daugher my cousin was horrible to him. there was a time when they starved him for two weeks and them confessed to me and my mom. why?? they wanted his pension so they could pay bills and stuff. their own. so maybe he is in a better place. still sad though.

i'm gonna go to bed early i think. i was terribly late for work today but i survived ok. i need to watch it though. it's getting to be a bad habit.

One of my client's is annoying me. i am sure she is going thru a phase but i am finding it difficult so smile and laugh when i have so many other issues to deal with.She has a sone who is staying with a girlfriend at her flat. she does their alundry and stuff and bitches about it. They are grwon up(23 and 32) so they can do their laundry.I iron their stuff with hers sometimes even though i don't iron any of my clothes. I hate it. I an starting to get annyed by this. I just don't know how to bring it up delicately.

Ive agreed to move into a plce. the room is a little cell. not sure it was the right choice.

i need to sort myself out pretty soon coz things are getting out of hand. I had a few laughs last night talking to an old man who was very naughty and tried to flirt with me. I am talking a 72yr old. He said I was very mature and assumed i was in my mid-30s. i was rather offended and haughtily told him i am not even 30! How dare they assume maturity comes with age? in my experience that is a blatant lie.

I need a pair of jean, very low rise and one that is the right length. can someobody tell me where to go? I havent done retail thereapy recently and i am badly in need. it's sometimes almost better than my orgasms. I need a new toy from ann summers. apparently they now have "The finger" whatever that is. Nah, maybe i'll just bag myself a man. I should be able to shouldn't I? Well one would think but never mind, I am just rambling. Been invited to a wedding for february. will have to wear a frock. Shit!

Im gonna go home and either drink tea or wine if i buy one. i haven't drunk in 5 days now. Some kid was screaming for her father on the bus last night. she admitted to having drunk a lot, puked all over the place. Fortunately someone called her father to come and pick her up at a particular station. she started screaming again and promtly passed out very near her vomit. She couldnt have been more that 16yrs. Alcohol can be scary so i shall tread carefully

cheerio, be sure you are well insulated it's getting rather nippy

1.Got a bollocking from Deciever on Saturday evening. The bastard rang me up to berate me for not having called him for help whilst looking for a place to live.Conveniently he has forgotten all the horrible things he said to me and about me apres carnival. I just listened as he attacked my character, telling me i always do things backward and he stopped trying to understand me a long time agao. I suspect what had really flipped him out was the fact that Geezer had rung him(well he has property connections but im not gonna go and ask him. it's bad for my health) and so he ranted on about how he had to hear from people(geezer) who can do fuckall for me. I did not ask those "people" to do anything for me. That they called him has nothing to do with me and his massive ego is not my responsibility. But God i was upset afterwards. i must have texted three people after to bitch. The friend whose house i'm staying in at the moment rang me and at one point I was really close to tears. Talking to Deciver brings back awful memories. someone said maybe that's the way he shows he cares. Well, i know he can show he cares in a caring gentle way if he so chooses, just not with me. He is always angry and venting and like a victim i just take it. In the end he was screaming "hello, hello??"down the phone coz i wasnt responding. I calmly told him i didnt want to bother him and that i was just listening to him venting. Talk about bursting a bubble. Dunno what he wants. anyway, he said He'll see what he can do. Does thatr mean i should suspend the dungeon? he knows the dungeon guy, apparently they are friends and so he might have halted him already. I dont have thre courage to ring him yet. Shit, talk about a spanner in the works! What's a girl to do??

2. Having bought three train passes that i did not use adequately coz i don't know how the fuck to travel and change over on the overland(don't laugh ), i decided to get the oyster today. (I have lost a couple already. I kow you just go to the ticket window and pay a £3 deposit and you are all set. So i went to the window in Hammersmith.I said to the customer service assistant, Michaela "I'd like to get an oyster card". she said" what do you want to do with it" I must have looked at her like she'd just chewed her left buttock off! I said "I'll get a bus pass on it later" she said" there is no point getting an oyster if you aren't going to do anything now". Clearly there was a language barrier and Michaela should be sacked for we are being told to get oysters and she doesn't know why.

In the end I told her "I know there is a £3 depoit to pay for the card. Can I just get it and decide what to do with it later?". She had to ask her colleague what to do, how to process the whole thing and so on. WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING IN THAT OFFICE???. So Ive got the card. I need to figure out a way to travel with it without paying too much. I am two hrs late for my weekend gig as it is coz I live where there is no night bus to getme to the nearest tube on saturdays, worse on sundays. Im fucked!

3. I am freaking out because i have a few strands of grey hair. For heaven's sake i am not even 30yrs old. I am sure it's the stress It msut be. Not even in the middle somewhere, right at the temple. Okay it's three strands but they are clear and visible. the way I understand it's irreversible. Maybe i must just accept it and move on. I mean there are bigger things to worry about right?! Wrong!! I am gonna die my hair blond or red. That should solve the probelm. maybe i should shave the whole tihng off and wear a beanie for the rest of the winter. Someone asked me where the ahirs were when i lamneted earlier. definitely on my head, not anywhere lese!!. She told me to pluck them out and maybe invest in wigs:p. You'd think the world had ended but hey, it's my issue and i am very worried.

Since having access to sky temporarily, I have stumbled upon naughty programs like sexcetera. last night they had a programme on swinging. don't worry, i listened a bit and rolled over and slept.I have lost a disk with vital info and I don't know what i am going to do I do not relish unpacking everything that's already scattered all over the room but i might not have a choice. And I am resolving to start my writing seriously tonight. I am in the mood and poverty is pushing me really. Won't be crappy like my blog, or atelast I hope so.
cheerio

Wednesday: The slave came thru. This is after I had to sleep in my sleeping bag, and getting a note from the Itralian master saying "plez, ,new people at 12:30 tomorow. You need to be out plez". thank you very much". So i got up in a panic. Called the slave who was at work already and asked him if he had a friend who could transport me. He had one who lived in Leytonstone, really the other side of town, and of course he couldnt just arrive in five minutes. After panicking for 10mins, I calmed down and decided to call work and tell them i had a crisis and couldn't work only till 12noon. The woman had the temerity to ask what the crisis was., That's when I screamed into the phone, telling her i was homeless, currently in the streets and needed to find a way to transport myself and my belongings to a friend's house!!. Ok, a bit dramatic but not too far from the truth. What could she say to that? my voice tremebled a little I think and nobody wants to listen to others cry...at least i don't.

I went to the morning AP, the lady got even more worried for me and wanted to come help me with her car. I had to refuse, if anything happened to her whilst she was driving then, we'd both be fucked and not in a good way. She gave me a lift to hammersmith from Richmond which cut down my trip conderable. Itailan boy had a greed to wait till I had accessed the flat before going to work. Very sweet of him actually. I have a spare key, hadn't told him. Slave made sure he got off work by 2pm and was able to load everything onto his car.

Weird thing: since he has a a fetish for feet and shoes, he saw me on my way to throw away my old dirty trainers and he started hyperventilating and begging to keep them., Just the thought of him snifing and licking my shoes shocked me enough to run and dispose of them immediately. He looked like a wounded lamb and i felt terrible for hurting him. But come on, It would have felt like he was sniffing and licking me really. Yuck!

My friend wasn't there, slave had to rush back as he was late for an AP. Nice of him to drive me all the way down south. I paid for petrol otherwise he would have got stuck It was the least I could do anyway. My friend arrived, showed me around, the house is really nice, all the radiators were on and it felt like a boiler-room. it's not even winter yet, what's worng with people!!??!!. Anyway, i went gorcery shopping, and cooked myself a nice meal and watched telly and some programmes on sky which i didn't have. Tried not to think about the dungeon I'd have to move to.

Thursday: Tried to find my way to Richmond from Sutton. it's not too far but i was almost 1hr late for work. Didn't matter, the client is a good friend and wasn't too worried. Still, i orefer not to take liberties. Wporried about the lack of intrent acess as a friend from school had emailed to say sh'e be in London and we should hook up. She is a high-flier, with one of those big pharmaceuticals and jetsets around the world with doctors trying to sell us awful drugs. My description not hers. The bus took forever going home, I literally collapsed in bed, not before having a couple of glasses of red wine and a coke.

Friday:A text form my friend, she was at the hotel in gloucester rd, i asked what her schedule was like and agreed to meet her later in the evening. So, that was a bus pass and a day travel card I had to get. Plus I had to get to my weekend job and tell them I'd be late for work today as I had to find my way round the south and using the overland. Been too spoilt by the tube and buses here in zone 1! Meeting with friend was superb. we gossiped a bit about the past, she had a pina colada, i had a beer, then we each had a glass of excellent rose. She said I was the highlight of her trip here. I couldn't agree more

Oh, sent my cousin a text wishing her happy birthday and urged her to find a man, get married and start breeding so she can name the kids after the dearly departed parents and so on

Got home around 10pm, was knackered, watched a bit of telly then slept.

Saturday: Up early enough, train terminated where it shouldn't have which meant replacement buses and so on. I was 11/2hrs late. Then disaster struck at 10am: problem with the sewerage, we had to evacuate everyone, i was asked to type the apology(by the manager), why couldnt he do it?! We then had to clock out and wait for the director. I am meant to call in 30 mins to find out if the problem is fixed and whether i can come back to work. They must think I'm mad. I have worked for two hrs. That's about £10, minus tax, i finish at 5pm what the fuck would i go back for at 3pm. So here I am writing my blog whicjh has been neglected for ages. i am not sure how i'm gonna get to work tomorrow. It's weird living in a place where you don't know anything and everything seems out of reach. But i have relative peace and need to negotiate further with Mr Dungeon owner. A nice lady has given me her computer which her son will deliver when im settled somewhere. The world aint so bad I guess