Having sent Deciever a terse text to apologise for being an ass at his house etc etc, he rang me earlier today and gave me a right bollocking. Of course he had to hurl the past into the whole thing. He actually adviced me to convert to Islam so i wouldn't have problems with drink in the future!. When i think about it, the last time this sort of thing happened, he was there and things were tense(the bimbo issue) and so now i realise being around him and imbibing has rather nasty repercussions for me. He is obviously agnry with me, my friend feels he still fancies me somewhat which is why he got so pissed off. But why can't he just accept the apology or not instead of kicking me and humiliating me further? I am down on the ground, i can't sink any lower.

Anyway, my friend J just rang me to say he rang her four times. probably to bitch about me and regarding some other work stuff. But her day ended much worse. She went off and slept with a friend of hers and left before morning.! she hasn't spoken to him since,(like me she was in bed sick yesterday), she thinks he'll never want to talk to her. I don't think so.

Deciever says my glasses are at his house i can come get them. I think i'll go tomorrow. I have had an earful today and don't need anymore particularly when i'm feeling so wobbly.
Another friend wants to meet tommorow tto see me and she said we could have a drink at the pub. I nearly burst out laughing. Im on the wagon, i should probably consider AA meetings now

Atleast there is concern from friends. im meeting another who lives down in Sutton I think. he is driving all the way to make sure im fine. Our mutual friend who is a born again christian says it's a sign for me to find God. i told her i've given up on God and am gonna join Allah. she nearly blew her top off. that made me smile at least.
One day soon I'll forgive myself. I hope

Well the carnival was great, for the first 3 hrs atleast and then it all went pear-shaped. I am an utter fuckwit. a dumbass. stupid. what else? i did it all to myself. Spent the better part of this morning at the police station, some surly policewoman wasn't exactly helpful. I ended up puking (outside) in front of a nice policeman who brought me tissues).

Ok, let me try reconstruct everything:I arrived home this morning at 8:23am, having slept in someones basement on a dirty old curtain because I apparently wouldn't go to my frined's house(an acquaintance), the guy whose basement we slept in offered us to come inside and apparently i said no. My oyster card, creditand debitcards and mobile were missing. I apprently caused a scene at deciever's house demanding my phone because i'd left in the toilet and i was "sure" some girls had taken it. He thrwe us out apparenly after saying some really horrible things. mercifully i have no recollection of that.

So there I was, stranded in basywater, not a peny in my pocket and the acquitance told me he would go and get me some money ans he was gone for ages. eventually a old man saw me, i explained my situation and he said he'd give me some money to get home. he gave me £10. Im not sure if that boy took my bank cards coz i was pretty sure i'd seen them in my bag and then when i went off to pee they disappeared.

Alcohol is a real ass. I mean 4 alcopops and a couple of shot of Rum(no food throught the day i think) and I turened into this disgusting creature. I suppose i should be glad I wasn't raped or maimed even though apparently some dirty old man was all over me and this boy hat to drag me away. My arm hurts like hell and i wonder if i have rebroken it somewhat

Why do i get myself into these little fixes? My friend disappeared others were frantically trying to reach me and i h got an "urgent" email from a friend overseas saying she was getting weird texts from my phone and was sure it wasn't me. it's all been cancelled so no problems there.

Was it worth losing everything and feeling like shit the whole day? don't think so. should I have done things differently? of course, we all say that in retrospect don't we?! But i can't belive i was in an alcohol related incident with Deciever again. Maybe i should send a text and apologise when i get a phone. i don't think i want to see or talk to him. more cursing is all i'll get probably.

I'm a fool, but i won't look back it's a day, it's gone, i've got bigger problems to deal with now.

I puked at starbucks but at least i have just been able to eat a banan. hadn't eaten in 48hrs I realised.
I am definitely staying on the wagon ....for good or a very very very looong time!

hopefully!! Carnival, carnival her I come! nottinghill had better watch out. I shall be out, shaking my booty, looking good enough to eat etc etc. i remember last year having a really sexy dance with some woman who plucked me out of the crowd cause I seemed to have proper rhtym to the band's music. We went near the stage and we started to get down! those lechs out there started taking pictures frantically. we were both wearing demin minis with bright tops, beads a la mardi gras and I guess were were both wearing thongsd. I mean i felt fletsh on my leg... nuff said

so hopefully it'll be even better this year. will miss the children's day tomorrow(i always dress modestly, can't corrupst those innocent minds!) although the way some of those those kids gyrate makes you wonder!!

hope so see some of you bloggers there, i know the best places to watch the floats, the best places to get eats and of course we can get free drinks from deciever. from coconut milk with run to red stripes beer, alcopops, weed in a particular street from rastamans with dreads down to the ground. By then they usually feel very eyrie. So come join me and have the time of your life on monday

Of course I'll be meeting with a bunch of fun loving females. God help us all. God help all those hapless buggers

cheerio!

Date with the girl went well. It turned out to be four girls, we went to a bar in Nottinghill, we talked really loudly about men and sex. She kept touching me and at one point she was touchging my thong which was peeking (courtesy low rise trousers) and said how sexy it was. her friend was really kinky and broadminded, as in she had done stuff that most people wish or fantasise about. But it was fun having a girly talk like that. We found out we all like spanking or being spanked and I spanked Her(she offered her butt, not sure if she was wearing underwear her skirt was dangerously low and there was no sign of... anyway...

And then i stood up looked at my reflection through the window and I got spanked and made noises. we giggle, people were intrigued and we weren't even drunk. The one girl doesn't drink and she seemed a bit repressed. thanks to her religion. Three of us told her to ditch all that jazz and free her mind(and bodyt!). my new friend kept telling her how she should let a man serve her and give her multiple orgasms, why should she deprive herself etc etc. That was tuesday. went rather well.

Monday was a party where i didn't know anybody. According to Miss Party, i had an admirer(we all ended up talking, politics, women, mena culture etc. i was very vocal of course). Maybe it's the american even though he doent have the best legs. His face and eyes...:p Miss party is making us guess by not disclosing names.

Oh well, im on a date tonight. yeah with the guy who stood me up. Saw him yesterday, gave him a proper tongue-lashing in front of other people! technically he was right not to turn up since i had more or less said i wouldn't but still he had insisted he'd be there/. he should have been. absurd I know but what the heck! It's a free meal, far away from where either of us stay, in a suitabley crowded area and close to transport. I'll be safe. ive told him my chsistity belt is on so he shouldn't even try anything. I'm sure he will though.

Strange, being depressed has been going hand-in-glove with some good times. I've been out since monday and actually enojoyed myself and yet people can tell from my voice there is something not quite right. I should try harder. "C"(the date tonite) said i looked harassed so i better make an effort later. A girlfriend justsaid i sound down on the phone and recommends I should go on medication. I refuse. I have refused before and coped just fine.

Reminded fuckwit to top up electricity this morning. she wasn't happy. her friend wasn't happy that i'd bitched about how landbitch had been screwing me around with rent and they didnt even want me to know. well i thought she'd gone to work and it was the truth anyway. I have told them before how i felt but had to vent a little again this morning

must be hormones

Went to a party last night. A flatmate's friend from university. she hadn't seen this girl in 6yrs, but it turned out great. The house beautiful, in Chiswick and she walks for 30secs to work. Naturally, she leaves her house at 9AM on the dot because she can make it before a minute past the hour. Lucky cow!

Lots of Americans there though, but they were all friendly, willing to listen and willing to learn. One was really loud, but she had a problem with her ears apparently. One guy, Martin was absolutely to die for, except his legs were stick-thin. Vain maybe but i like them legs nice and sturdy. Tall enough though, he had just come back from basketball practice.All in all a good evening. I only knew one person who was my flatmate and she knew only the birthday girl but we had a good time chatting to people from all continents really.

The girl from last friday rang me, she wants to meet for drinks or something today. I said yes. I'm sure it will be fun. Feeling down in the dumps doesn't help when one doesn't get off their arse to find the positive. I think i should stick to non-alcoholic beverages although i can't guarantee it. She wants to party a little bit since she's leaving London in a couple of weeks. We'll see. There are some trendy bars round nottinghill so it should be a fantastic evening.

Still nothing for carnival, it'll probably piss cats and dogs so i shouldn't worry too much. Last year was great, better than the year before I thought, let's hope this year surpasses my non-expectations

what does it mean when you keep getting calls from a mobile number with 10digits? i think all the numbers have 11 digits?

someone rang me at 5am, i actually thought i was dreaming. didn't leave a message. they've just rung again. couldnt answer and it's happened before. don't wanna text or ring back in case it's a scam. 07810... seems normal enough to me. maybe not.It might be a psycho Bitch. or a bastard indeed. or a combination of both *shudder*! what to do? i wanna know who they are and why they keep ringing!!!!!

An exraordinary weekend really. In the most torrid way. First i got some horribly confusing news of personal kind, then I recieved a text from a friend from work. She said " too much stuff happening, work is getting worse, watch your back, do not trust anyone, quit and find a new job as soon as possible. Im telling yu as a friend. cant tell you more, time isn't right". Now why the fuck would someone send a text like that??? Naturally I texted back, to say I'm not sure what's going as I hadn't been working last weekend, so now i have cryptic texts to deal with as well.

I decided to launder my curtains since they really looked awful. don't know when landbitch last decided to have them cleaned.Of course that meant my window were bare and I am pretty sure the tenats in the building across could see me in all my glory. well, I can't crouch or crawl on all fours just because im scared someone might see my boobs or more when i enter my room and stuff. so for the entire weekend I was strutting around, doing what i normally do and I'm sure some pervs and non-perves got an eyeful. That made me smile actually

Saturday, i got stood up. ok, i hadn't really promised for sure i'd pitch up for the date but he's been bugging me for ages andsaid he'd definitely be there. previous rendezvous have ended the same way, missing each other or divinity intervening. Feeling so low, I felt even worse when after 30mins I left. 30mins!! what girl waits that long. So C can rest assured I shall de-ball him when I see him next. How dare he pisses around with my time. But then he has said on several occasions that he wants to shag my brains out which i find rather crude so maybe i had a lucky escape. I'm still having his balls on a platter though...to feed to the dogs

Took a walk in Greenpark to lcear my mind and emotions yesterday. Did some strategic window shopping on Oxford street so I can go back today and get all the stuff I think I want. Bargain prices of course And even better the girl from last friday rang me, and she carried on talking whil i was trying to place her voice and remember her name:p. We shall meet sometime this week for drinks or something. says she wants to cram in as much stuff as possible since she is going away so cool by me:P.

I seriously need to sort myself out agian. Felt suicidal at the weekend but obviously I'm still here. wasn't as bad as the previosu times but just as bad. Had an auwful hotdog somewhere near embankment, had 3/4 of a bottle of wine by myself. got offered weed by the girls(didnt know they smoked) which i declined. i'm not about to start in my old age...maybe one day but not yethad lots of starchy food and so i shall begin the healthy diet today.

been drinking goat's milk. I'll switch to soya. see what happens. need an outfit for cranival next week!!!

With the Portobello festival almost coming to an end(most of which I missed this year), Old Geezer and his friend invited me to come an watch a film in westbourne grove yesterday. An intersting documentary about exiles in another country, exploring how they feel about their adopted country etc etc. It was supported by the Human Rights Watch(HRW), so a woman gave a little speech at the beginning. Geezer firmly believe HRW is a CIA run organisation and based on the garbage that woman was spewing forth, i almost believed Geezer.

Halfway through the film(which wasn't totally absorbing the whole time), a rather tall and elegant girl/(woman?) strode in and sat a couple of rows in front of us. When the film finally ended, Geezer and and his friend suggested we go and have some wine but I wasn't eager. I just wanted to go to bed. They started again on the CIA human Rights theory and suddenly we heard a voice from behind. It was the girl, she made out like she wanted to pass us on the very narrow pavement but then said, she will linger back and just listen to our discussion. So I roped her into the conversation and sort of started interviewing her. We clicked immediately and it turned out she was a film student from Namibia and had been studying in Germany for the past 5yrs. I declined to ask about the Pitt-Jolie birthing saga.

Geezer ever-generous popped into oddbins and bought a couple of good bottles of red. suddenly I wasn't so tired and i was gonna have the wine after all. I continued to banter with the girl, it bordered on flirtation really, geezer, who is used to being the centre of any conversation wasn't too happy and when he made remarks the Girl was able to come back with sharp retorts which beffudled geezer.

he tried flirting in the house, it didn't work too much. he said something about whipping her, she said it would be sexy to be whipped and offerd her bum except i was sitting next to her and so it was in my direction. So I slapped her bum lightly and she enjoyed it and we giggled conspiratorially. Geezer moaned that there seemed to be a lesbian thing going on between us girls. I spanked her again later(can't remember what was happening). I thought she was a bit drunk before we had wine, but in the end all four of us consumed 3 bottles of wine. Christ, geezers friend had a bottle hidden in his bag which he took out just before midnight. This girl hadn't been wearing a bra, and her nipples were erect the whole time. I wonder if i was the only one who noticed? And I was wearing my "psychobitch" T-shirt, which excited her! (the two geezers find it intimidating ). we had great conversations, we were all reluctant to part, I bought some chips and poured some hot sauce and shared them with the girl. she said she didn't want me to leave. I told geezer I thought she liked him but all he felt was friction. I thought for once, he had met his match in a woman in any converation(besides me of course.

So we have exhanged numbers and will meet before or soon after carnival as she is leaving but what a night!! A bit crazy but hey, you don't get stimulatiing conversations from random girls who like to be spanked and whipped all the time. She mnight be too much but she is certainly fun.

Now my friend Sophie is coming to see me in about 1/2hr and she texted to ask if she should bring wine. I thought I'd let my liver recover as I eventually got home at 2am this morning having to get up at 7:30am! ouch!! I managed it, no thanks to an early morning call and a flurry of texts from people who obviously have no respect for sleep

So sophie is bringing the wine, i'll drink a gallon of water after and feel better. The guy who works at the tube and has been pursuing me for almost two yrs now, saw me today. He screamed my name out loud and as soon as I turned around he pounced. He wants to have dinner tomorrow and said he wants to shag my brains out. not tomorrow!, I told him every man who meets me wants to shag mny brains out but he should stop talking like that it's really uncouth I lied and said I was working, he instisted he'll be outside my workplace at 5:30 and we should meet etc etc. Im not eager but fuck, we always bump into one another and previous arrangements have gone pearshaped for various reasons. Told him it was a sihgn we are not compatible. Besides I told him i'd rather meet him during the day as he might kidnap me you never know with some men and i think he falls into the category that might just kidnap me. we'll see...

Ive had too much bread products today and feel utterly bloated. will have salad for dinner and wine of course. I'll detox on Sunday. I promise. Or i'll just hook up with the girl although... aah never mind

Hated chemistry in school, but i'm ceratinly enjoying all the chemistry coming my way these days.

summer's gone. i'm lamenting the long hot lazy evenings already. I know it lasted all of two minutes but i suppose it worth the next miserable 9motnhs of darkness i shall have to endure.

My manager is leaving today.We'll be having a farewell dinner in a couple of hrs. He made my life at work bearable when there was fascist who was after my blood when i first started. It wasn't personal, it was just who she was but it affected me deeply. I nearly screamed hallelujah when she left, and for a minute i belived there is a god after all

Had three quarters of a bottle of red last night and had a stimulating conversation with the girls. As usual I was the one who talked the most. As usual we spoke about men. The other gilr definitely needs therapy. When I said girls should never compromise their standards in what they look for in a guy she said all women wait till they are older and then take whoever they don't want. Surely this can't be true?

I believe there are some non-compromises that every individual would never veer from. things like religious believes, standard of living etc etc. those are hard things to let go off and I have seen how some people remain miserable when they have had to convert from their religion to please someone else. However things like wanting a tall dark handsome man can be dealt with. If you go for men taller than 6ft every time, surely you could go lower once in a while. Although if you are used to 10 inches, im not sure you'd settle for...say 6inches

Anyhow, i'm feeling a bit out of sorts, so a nice dinner with nice people should do the trick.

In my frustration in dealing with my University and how they are messing me about(through no fault of mine), i sent an email to a woman in admin who has been trying to help(unsuccessfully so far). I also copied my cousin who knows of the situation but does not seem to grasp the urgency of the matter to me. You see, sometimes she says I am a drama queen. I don't think so. I just want thing done properly and if I ask a direct question regarding something I don't understand I expect a straightforward answer and not some wishy-washy gobblegook because someone doen't have the guts to say "I don't know, but i shall find out for you".

Anyway, the email: I the email I used the word bloody. Here's a couple of lines from that benign(in my opinion email):I am pretty sure Uni is ripping me off and I have no way out. She has had to pay £400 to get those bloody receipts!

I hadn't been able to find deposit slips, I had asked my cousin to find them as well and I had been confused by her email saying she had paid 400. I thought it had been to get reciepts which was strange, but she meant that had been the final amount of my fees deposited(which incidentally was only £320 so they actually have £80 extra).

My cousin's problem was the word "bloody" in the email to that woman. She said she might take it as an insult, I shouldn't take stuff out on her and she is volunteering to help. So i lost my rag. As far as I was oncerned, i had made it clear to the woman that my anger is at the institution and not her so how could she take it personally? besides I didn't use the F-word so that was pretty mild. When i tried to explain to cousin, she went on again about how I should mind my words etc etc.

You see, that's the problem of being raised a certain way, not being allowed to swear and having to be polite all the time. I don't think that should apply when you are dealing with fucked up universities that are out to bleed you dry and screw you further for life.

Should I mind that used the word bloody? hell no! they should be grateful i did not unleash a torrent of more fitting words. So i'm pissed off with cousin. She says she understands I'm fed up but clearly she doesn't. Not if she's gonna counsel me about the merits of using bloody in my emails. I pointed out that womean got a lot worse from other students.

Am I wrong? bloddy hell someone tell me puh-leezz

This world is fucked up and im tired of it.

Forget my weird dreams or nightmares. The cold weather has brought it's own set of problems now. The sort that I prefer not to think about or even experience because they just make me wanna retch.

A little while ago, I getting off the bus(having sat upstairs for the duration of my trip) and as soon as i stepped downstairs i was hit by a nasty smell of old piss. Yeah, the kind of smell that comes to the fore when in an enclosed and artificially heated place because the weather is dark and dreary and everyone is cold. It was too late for me to hold my breath, but at least i jumped out and breathed fresh air.

It's really quite simple: get in the bath and scrub those bits a bit. Or better still jump in the shower and let the water run the stink off you. I don't blame the poor old grannies that were in the bus, it's our responsibility to make sure they are still clean and lead dignified lves.

I wonder which is worse: smelly armpits on the tube in the height of summer, or pissy smells on a bus on a cold day I think they are about equal. I still hated the smell. yuck!

Went to the park yesterday, was accosted by Bimbo, we had a "pleasant" chat about the film(Deciever's) when some old geezer came by and said i was dressed to titillate and surely satan has me by the clutches!! what???? I said. well, my wearing a t-shirt that exposed a tiny area of my stomach(my jeans are lowrise) meant i was dressed inappropriately to him. Fortunately there were other men around who promptly defended my honour. I told him to go have a cold shower, because as much as he needed one, I thought under the circumstances a cold one would serve him better. I can't help it if he gets titillated can I?

Happy Monday everyone

I had a most bizzare dream earlier this morning and since I just got up and need to eat, have coffee etc, etc , i shall post more details later. However it was some sort of love triangle, with the guy's mom involved and she was telling me about some other girl weird I know. so now i'm wondering if im getting some sort of message or what the dream means. later, i need to eat and then come back and regale you!

I got home round 6:30pm yesterday. I had time to warm up some wonderful soup, and have a quick wash while mentally agonising over what to wear to Deciever's do. Since I wasn't going to be helping out this time(my choice) I could look as fab as I wanted and as i hadn't seen him for ..fuck how long has it been?? say ages, He was in for a suprise.

I settled on a Black skirt that swirled somewhere beneath the knees.It actually rests just under my pelvic bones, molding my delectable bum and finally flowing gently down to my knees. As for the top, I settled for tight lemon V-necked top(short sleeved), tried it on without a bra and then decided to be merciful to all those men and put a bra on. With the weather last night, my nipples would have been permanently erect and since the top came to my navel, exposing a tiny bit of my very flat stomach, i thought that was enough. I put on my sandals, a bit of mascara, liner and that hot lipgloss i got for a bargain the other day. I let my hair hang loose so I could flick it at will of course the last time a lot of those people had seen me I was sporting shorter hair.

My friend J, who was meeting me at my flat was quite impressed. She kept saying i had lost a lot of weight but then she hasn't seem me for months. She looked sexy herself but she was in jeans and there was no need for her to look utterly stunning. My one flatmate arrived and we got ready to leave. Oh, you should've seen the reception I got: kisses and hugs all over the place, exclamations over how beautiful and stunning I looked:p. Thak goodness for stilletos cause i could sway my hips just enough to have them mesmerised.:p I just smiled, greeted everyone, introduced my friends and sort of mingled. The flatmate was a bit starstruck and thought Deciever's eyes were actually contact lenses(he does have rather unusual eyes). I thought he looked a bit fat(that would drive him bonkers actually )

I felt him approaching from behind, he made like he hadn't seen us but eventually he turned around, enveloped me in a tight hug and a qucik peck on the cheek. He knows my friend J so they said hello and he moved along. Then we decided to go to the bar to get drinks while we waited. That's when I saw her. Bimbo. The bimbo who attempted to steal Deceiver by trying to manipulate me. She didn't have to try that but anyway....

Christ, her face looked pregngant, and she was dressed in some non-descript thing. I say thing because you cannot call that a dress. Put something over your head and put a belt somewhere you imagine you have a waist, or somewhere below and you'll get the picture. It was horrid!! and she looked like she'd just come out of a bin! J actually gasped in shock!. you see I had never said nasty stuff about bimbo but she agreed that she was indeed a bimbo. actually she called her a slapper, which she is. miaooowwww! well, like in most such situations, there was politeness all around. No, discomfort on her part and I just oozed confidence. I took the lead and said hello, she stood up and kissed+hugged me(to her credit), i introduced my friend, she complimented me on how stunning I looked. Pity i couldn't return the compliment. I did say "you don't look bad yourself" which was a lie, but it was better than saying "you shouda covered the cottage cheese girl!":b Enough bitching! the show was good, some people ripped it to shreds and deciever got very defensive.

I never got a chance to congratulate him or put in my two-pence worth coz as soon as I reached him, Bimbo materialised again! isn't it funny how she felt the need to "guard" him from me when she doesn't need to? He did check me out, I was only able to say well done, before he hugged me again and kissed me. Bimbo looked uncomfortable and I wanted to laugh. Old geezer had been trying to paw me the whole evening but he knows when to behave. He made me promise to come for dinner on wednesday. He was going on and on about my friend's eyes(together with another geezer who has the hots for me) so we might have a good laugh at the dinner. I bid everyone bonnuit and left.

Deciever rang three times today. Left a frantic message to say I should call as soon as I got his message. I gave it a good hour and a half why should I rush to ring him back huh? He wanted to know my opinion regarding the film, I didn't rip him to shreds but i pointed out some basic errors and I was encouraging. He is a bit insecure at heart. I forgot to tell him to hit the gym soon. I will some other time

But now, im feeling slightly depressed. My mood is as dark as the sky now and depression is pissing down my gut like the rain that's pelting my window at the momentI don't know if it was talking to him or whether I'm going through one of my cycles. I really wanted to cry a few mins ago, i know it's ridiculous but then who knows. I think i should open a bottle of red and have a few glasses, bury this depression in the alcohol. maybe i should just have a good cry. Maybe i should just remember I shone yesterday without even making an effort and bimbo was left eating mud while Deciever was just speechless. That's karma. Good karma

Had those for lunch, In fact the entire day, a huge fat bagfull. bleugh!! I feel utterly sick now went shopping, I think i've gone up a dress size. Shit! but the bras were still a cup down. So those jelly beans went straight to my hips coz I had a problem getting a pair of trousers on. maybe it's coz they were narrow. But i'm worried. Felt really felt. probably looked it Maybe it's in my head.

On the plus side, I tried on a top that gave me the most wonderful cleavage. yes, with the two grapes I have now. reminded me of a time when i had a most amazing cleavage. I must have been a teen then. Drat!

In the end i didn't buy anything. I'd already had a couple of glasses of wine, courtesy of a client's daughter who claimed it was her birthday. She isnsist that i have a glass. wasn't bad, then I had to have a second(she was on her third and it was clearly going to her head judging by how she was babbling ). I declined a third and bolted, having had nothing to eat the whole day that would have been asking for trouble. DRank water. So obviously by the time i left the shops my ballder was ready to burst. And just like sod's law, the public toilets were closed, I could either piss in my jeans or on the tube or hold it till I got home. I opted to hold it and drank coke out of frustration. Don't know how I made it. all that sugar, but it was sweet relief when i finally went "hglsshhh". Then of course I had to rush and make food.

Im gonna cut out carbs with immediate effect...we;l maybe i can start at the weekend. Deciever's movie/doc premiers this friday. Fuck i need to look fabulous. Wish i could afford a facial. i have tickets already. didn't ask him for freebies, he could have offered. I'm gonna look stunning, he's gonna stare and think "if only...". I'll then smile sweetly, say hello and move on to other more interesting people. watch him come and interrupt my conversation. he's done it before. Silly man

Last night, i got home to find the other two girls ready to go grocery shopping at sainsbury's. They asked me to come with, i wasn't eager but i went anyway. We were gonna walk and it's quite some distance. Any form of exercise is better than nothing:b.

Anyway,as usual i bought stuff i din't really need but I DID NOT BUY wine which was a good sign I guess. i made a joke as we went past the wine section(there's so many good wines on sale now, it was really a sin not to take advantage )

One of them wanted to take the bus back, their stuff was extremely heavy, coupled with two-litre bottles of water but we walked because the bus rushed past just as we were exiting the shop. Isn't it annoying when you miss the bus not knowing when the next one is gonna come?

So we got to the house, I moaned and complained about nobody loving me because nobody had rung me, and then my phone rang:p.I happily answered the phone and they screamed hello to a friend they didn't even know. I escaped upstairs to take the call in my room and then the confusion began.

Someone was running a bath because i could hear the water gushing. Then the one girl came to my room to ask if she could take a quick bath while i was on the phone and i waved her away. She thought it was me running the bath and so it made sense for her to have a quick dip while i was still on the phone. When i eventually got off the phone and left my room, i saw the bathroom door was closed so naturally assumed she was having a bath. I went to the kitchen to start cooking dinner and suddenly the girl called me. Assuming her voice was coming from the bathroom I rushed up, except there was nobody there. hearing noise in "fuckwit's" room(that's the girl i was with for a long time who steals my socks and lets the electricity run out leaving us in the dark. many times) and she opened the door.

At this point i was rather baffled. I asked if L(the girl i thought was in the bathroom) was in her room, she said no, but she was smiling and did not elaborate.We didnt even know she was back from work. So i went downstairs again, still confused. Went to L's room, found her there and that's when everything was clarified: L had thought i was running the bath. It was fuckwit's on-off boyfriend who was doing so and she ran into him naked in the bathroom( i missed all that, she is quite tall so i think she didn't look down to see how many inches he packed ), so she ran down to her room to recover, then called me. Meanwhile, i'd been thinking she was taking a bath(boyfriend was done by this time) and so when I asked fuckwit, she didn't tell me about the little scene earlier.

We(me, L and her friend) sat in L's room discussing the incident. What i couldn't understand why why Fuckwit couldn't just say "it was my boyfriend having a bath not L".

Whew, I had my supper, watched that horror show "Love Island" and went to bed after. I did quizz fuckwit this morning. she just laughed. I guess having her friend see her man, and then another girl knock on the door(while he was still naked presumably) was just a bit too much

Having a man in a flat full of girls is a bit challenging. I have told them I will put up a "do not disturb, having sex/whatever" on my door if that happens in the future so we don't go thru yesterday debacle again. It was still funny but i did not like being in the dark, so to speak

Bitch: a female dog or  member of the canine family.In colloquial terms: a woman who is malicious, spiteful, domineering, unpleasant, sexually promiscuous, mean  and/or vicious.A woman who is thoroughly disliked

In male terms, a subordinate male.(think of all those horrific prison dramas)

To bitch: whinge, moan, backbite, gripe etc etc.

In my world, those four letters mean:

B abe

I n

T otal

C ontrol of

H er life

nuff said

There I was, idly chatting with my colleague during a rare lull in an otherwise eventful workplace when i noticed a man sniffing his coffee. I told my colleague that i found it odd for anyone to sniff coffee or a drink like that. I said imagine if you sniffed soup and then you had to sell it to a customer after they'd watched you smell it. fair enough, the guy was minding his own business and it was his coffee.

She then said she didn't have a problem with things being sniffed or smelled,(in a particular tone of voice) so long as it was food . At this point we both burst out laughing and I told her she had a dirty mind and she should stop trying to corrupt me. We hadn't noticed a guy who had walked in during our little exchange and heard everything. When we both looked up, he was standing there, all dark and handsome-ish, smiling

We both said hello to him, and I asked if we could help. He said "Um... I'm looking for eggs?"(in that american way where a statement sounds like a question) with just a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. I think he did it on purpose. I looked at him and replied " I have eggs, but you can't look!" deadpan. Well, two can play the game i reckoned

Anyway, we went on to talk about eggs, I didn't let him look at my eggs but he managed to get poached eggs at my recommendation. After he'd gone, it suddenly hit me how naughty i'd been and i started blushing furiously to the delight of my colleague. No more double entedre(s), at least not in the forseeable future

By the way, did anyone join in the wanker-thon yesterday? there was one protester by the name of Matthew Ball(clearly he doesnt believe in scratching his Ball(s)for pleasure , and before you ask, i wasn't there i read in the papers today. It's for C4 and i wonder how they are going to air it to the public.
cheerio

That sums up my day. I go to the tube station this morning and was harrassed by the woman at the till. Harassment doesn't even cover it. The witch screamed at me. This is what happened:

I got there to pay for my travelcard with my deibit card. I get a studnet discount on my oyster but she hadn't done the discount yet when she barked that i punch in my pin. Alarmed, i told her i usually payed £... (wouldn't you query if you were on a tight budget?), that's when she screamed " PUT IN YOUR PIN MUMBER X3). I was so rattled that i put in the wrong pin then watched as she waited for the reciept to come out. Then she barked" LOOK AT THE MACHINE, LOOK AT THE MACHINE!!" I asked "why?" she said" BECAUSE YOU ARE LOOKING AT ME LIKE IM DOING SOMETHING WRONG". Crhist! so i told her the machine was telling me to wait for my card and she insisted that's where i should look. of course i looked at her instead, so the reciept came out and she told me my card was invalid. It wasn't invalid, all she had to do was tell me to do it again, and explain why she hadn't done the discount when she shoul've.

So, still reeling from all that(in full view of the public, i went to the ATM outside to get cash so i could pay at the cash counter, but then i started to get angry at all the shit i had to endure. i mean this is 8:30AM, the start to what shoul've been a great day and here i was being harassed by someone who had no busines doing so. The police station is a few minutes away, I contemplated going there(it wasn't the first time that i had experienced a nasty attitude from her). So i went to one of the staff, a gentle guy with dreadlocks that almost reach the floor( they are probably as old as he's been working for london transport ). i asked him where i could complain about THAT woman(pointing in her general direction) and he told me to get a form from her colleague. I was getting emotional explaining to him it wasn't the first time she'd been nasty. The other woman wanted to know what was wrong when i asked for the complaint form. I think that6's the worst posible question you can ask someone on the brink of losing their composure. Starting to explain turned to be a bitch coz as my voice escalated, hands waving wildly to make my point so the reats started flowing. Then she had the never to tell me to stop upsetting myself over one individual. couldn't i see i was ruining my day over that one person(she kept galncing at her colleague behind the glass. This pissed me off further so I sobbed silently and kept furiously wiping away the tears. Im sure she meant well, i just didn't wanna hear that Maybe she thought it would put me off. I told her i still wanted to complain regardless.

so i got my ticket and the form and gleefully filled it out whilst waiting for the next train:p.I am definitely hearing from them.I will not tolerate harssment and intimidation from tube staff, i mean they aren't merant to tolerate shit from us right?! So she has another thing coming, i'm afraid she is going to pay for all the other bullies who've been on my ass. Actually im gonna go to the police. Her ass is definitely toast! aah, feel so much better now. I told the other woman, i don't mind if i make a mistake or misunderstand but i expect to be treated with respect, the very respect i accorded her colleague. she couldnt argue with that could she. Bloody woman!

Glad to say, after sending my statement off, i had a nice cuup of tea, was late for work but it didn't matter and then I saw my last client of the day, a wonderful 82yr old that i have great and enlightening conversations with everytime i see her. By the time i left it was really late, the office was closed, had to shove my time sheets under the door and hope for the best

At least i left smiling after such a tearful start. Great weekend to you all, if you get any hassles, toast their ases coz they'll deserve it

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.

Men