How important are birthdays? I was my brother's birthday yesterday. I didn't ring to wish him happy birthday. It's not that i didn't want to for i do it religiously every year. There are circumstances at the moment that made it impossible. Before you think it, NO, we arent fighting.

I sent a cousin a text after she sent one very early in the morning telling about some kid who was hit by a car in the face while they(my cousin and the kid's parents were at another adult's birthday).The text was to let her know my brother is becoming a geezer although that isn't strictly true since he is only in his mid-30's! she was shocked and asked me if his birthday isn't on the 17March. Now that took me by suprise. Since when was he born on the 17th? where did she get that idea, i asked her. I mean we have had many celebrations and at one point it was a 3-way celebration with my aunt and an uncle(mom's cousin) who all shared a birthday on the same day.

My aunt is dearly departed but she was high profile in her community and so lots of people were invited to the do and lots of food cooked, which my brother as a chef had to supervise before donning a tie and jacket to sit at the table. I was in america at the time, i think. The next big birthday, which would be my aunt's alone but with everyone else invited, including strays and whatever else, WE fucked up! I mean my aunt's son, therefore my cousin, my mother, myself, a family friend and my little nephew fucked it up by being in a car-crash resulting in the friend dying, me in intensive care, mother in some ward, cousin with a sprained ankle and little nephew having his spleen removed. It was 3 days before the big day. There was no way the party could go ahead after the friend died and with me in intensive care and some people apparently pronouncing me dead or critical without limbs

That was actually funny to hear when i eventually got out two weeks later bent out of shape. One nurse actually had the gall to say they had to panel-beat me when i came round. You can imagine the shock when i saw X-rays. I needed oxygen really.

Anyway, i digress.I could not understand why such a significant date would elude my cousin yesterday. To be fair, i sometimes get confused with her birthday. It's in November but i am never sure whether it's the 3rd or the 4th. Usually i ask in advance so i can make the call or send a text or whatever. It's just easier these days and gone are the days in my family where we sat around with a huge cake and sang and drank and stayed merry. When the parents and adults go and you have to grow up(even though you are grown up, it somehow takes out the pleasure).

Personally i don't make a big deal of my birthday. I don't even tell people it's my birthday and then i feel slightly disappointed when they dont say anything to acknowledge the day. It's very silly I know. I think it stems from when i was in boarding school and was terrified with tales of being a teenager. as soon as I hit 13yrs I thought my life would be over, and it didnt help that i was suddenly changning from a tomboy(with some boobs compared to some friends) to sprouting curves all over the place. 14 was ok, my mom arranged for someone to deliver a massive cake and little party packs for my classmates. so we had that at school during lessons and then another celebration in the dorm after lunch or before tea in the afternoon. whichever. I invited almost everyone in the dorm and i think the cake lasted for two days. It was great

Why am i talking about this? I am just now wondering if my brother was disappointed that i didn't ring him to wish him happy birthday. Nobody seems to keep track of birthdays these days but my cosuin is quite steadfast when it comes to me. She knows the last three have been dramatic and always says she hope this one is better. last year was definitely better. I wonder if i should have a party like people go out to elaborate dinners. Maybe i should reflect? but that is so boring maybe i will don a tiny weeny skirt and go paint the town red, safely of course:p I hope April will be warmer otherwise there goes this idea.

What is the big deal with birthdays? I dont think they should matter so much but i would rather remember those than death anniversaries, which some people seem to hold very dear and remember like they would a verse from quoran or the Lord's prayer.

So happy birthday to my brother and my aunt who made me laugh while she was still here and my uncle who continues to live and try to inspire people.

I shouldn't forget it's another cousin's birthday on the 8th. better send a text or email. That should be enough