First the muthers called banks: yeah, it's my fault but i still think they are criminals out to bleed us dry of every drop of the red liquid flowing thru our tiny evens. Fucking hell! I live in a flat turned into whatever it it now. That fact has been established. I have been reluctant to change my address to this one as I really have to flee. For my own saftey and as well as survival. Milk boy wants me to be his girlfriend, he chases me around the house demanding hugs, i have to be careful with my low rise jeans which can expose my butt cleavage when i bend over.(another tale

the bank: my letters go to my previous address, which is safe and respecatble, i can go and collect them whenever and they always keep them for me. I have not been able to do that for the past month. my fault but should the credit card dept of my esteemed bank(can i mention it's name?) have slapped me with a £25 fine for not having paid the money in 3 days before i finally fetched my letters all exhausted? plus another £5 because my payment was late. Really, i have been using this card and where they'd udually just block it because i hadnt paid or whatever, they have not done so this time. I had been calling former landwimp(he was a fucking wimp and he knows it!) to check if i had letters from the bank and there were none. Ok, ive been skint but i basically had to pay a £30 penalty on a £100 bill. Actually im not sure it should even be that high because i bought two coats but returned the one to get a refund as I felt it was too tight. That was in December. The statement isnt detailed(another first) so im not sure what purchases im being charged for.

So i am definitely in the RED How im going to wipe this off and wiope my ass at the same time, only fuck knows.

Now, i agreed to meet R tomorrow so i can give him the "it's not u it's me speech) and i have just to my horror, realised it's valentine's day tomorrow. you should have heard him in his whiney voice(which tripled my feeling bad coz he is a nice person) saying he will keep tuesday open but i should just text and let him know for sure. He wants us to meet in liverpool street coz his house is nearby. Im worried now coz he might say "since you are skint I can cook us a lovely meal in my place blah, blah" i dont want this turning ugly. I hadnt realised it was the day of lovers tomorrow and since im a singleton i could really do without looking at him across candlelight. they say restaurants will be fully booked so i see him suggeting his place. FUck, Fuck. I am such a moron. well an idiot. IQ tests say 186. is that moronic? dont tell me if it is.

The bumcrack: Most of my jeans, in fact al of them are low rise. they fit my frame better. I was at the coffee place on saturday, i had to bend over for some reason, some guy on the other side of the counter was waiting for a coffee. Well the one girl nudged me and toleme the guy nearly had a heart attack coz a little bit got exposed and he didnt know where to look. AAh, typical english gentleman. blushing coz he saw something delicous that he shouldnt have seen in the first place now im wearing a dodgy belt that i got from primark with a different pair. not taking a chance. i would rather go beltless but it seems i need to gain a couple of pounds or buy differents jeans. aah well...

anyway, to you lovebirds out there, enjoy being sappy tomorrow, try something new and dont succumb to all the gimmicks and make sure you keep the fires(between you that is burning not just tomorrow.

Im off to lick my wounds with regards to cashflow.
later