I am either hallucinating or there is a ghost in my new place.Nothing sinister but i am beginning to wonder about little occurences regarding my glasses. You see over the weekend I have repeatedly found my spectacles where they shouldn't have been. On friday night, i found them in the bathroom window sill, having left them in their case downstairs in the lounge. I was pretty sure of having done that but wondered if perhaps i had gone up to the bathroom and letf them there. I even suspetced that my roomamte might have done it but it was a ridiculous thought really.

So resolved to be more vigilant. Last night, i can swer on my parents' graves(why do people do that?) i left them in my little sarchel bag downstairs again. This morning, i got up, had a bath, went downstairs to boil water for tea and switched on the telly. I wasnt wearing my glasses, because it was really for the noise background and i can do without them, but when i went up to the room, my glasses were on the window sill, almost frozen, coz it's so cold. that baffled and freaked me out a bit. At no time did i wear my glases this morning. im pretty sure i left them downstairs last night, but now i am already questioning my own sanity. how crazy is that? i am sitting here, wondering if I took them up after having tea last night and left them out to freeze. But this is illogical and i am adamant that it wasn't my own doing.

So is there a ghost or a message im not getting? i wonder. ofcourse when i looked in my glass case they weren't there. well duh! they wouldnt be would they? Crazy but im begiining to think something is up. perhaps im paranoid but....

I have been eating too much starch: bread, potatoes,even pizza which i'm not particularly into. i have to stop it. Strangely enough, my weight has stayed the sdaem although i feel like im geting bigger. maybe i just need to get toned again.

I spent a couple of hrs at old geezers on friday. His youngish friend who is doing websites called me up. they were supposed to host a dinner, which they never confirmed with me and so he called as if i was late. I went anyway, there was someone else there, who lavished compliments on me, i said thank you but felt myself blushing a little bit. So now youngish guy wants us to meet today to help him with some work. this is the same person whio, when i asked how he wanted me involved in his thing kept saying well, we are all different and so he wants to just take everything as it comes so we all get to know one another. what?? i thought to myself. now he expects me to turn up whenever because he has decided he wants me on board. I am setting a few things straight today. My time is mine and so if he reqiures some of it, he will have to be clear and book it in advance. to they think im a doormat?

There was a little do somewhere on Portobello Road apparently, i declined to go. he leaned down to give me a kiss, or for me to kiss him. i pecked him on the lips(well he didnt exactly give me his chee), but that was ok. Now i hope he isnt getting ideas. geezer got a little peck as well. He got excited by that! i dont mean physically although i couldnt tell if thathad been the case. i will attribute that to three glasses of good red wine. but it was cool as well.

The weekend care work did not go without dranma as usual. there is a woman who wants me to come to her regularly. she called up the agency to request me. the agency gave me some shit story about the other woman not being able to cope because her mom had the same problem(bowel cancer). total rubish because this woman told me she is going to request me because she thinks im a good communicator and have an easy manner. she can talk to me even about her spiritual beliefs because im open-minded. I thought it was nice of her to say that, but i cant do her full time. i want to get out of the work, it's erratic, disorganised and i cant deal with it anymore. so i did not answer the woman at the office, she said maybe i should leave college and work full-time for her(the office). i thought she'd taken leave of her senses. but im sure it was done in jest.

anwya, the struggle continues to get something for the christmas season so i dont have to sell one of my organs to opay for next months rent. Yes it has come to that.

I had a good rant and rave at my bank this morning. My credid card gets declined because it has been updated, i never recieved the new card and they keopt sending me new pins. i have spoken to a million people at this bank and today i decide to go in and ask whoever to speak to the cred dept directly. they always say they dont deal with that because it's a different branch. I threatened to take my business elsewhere(i dont care if I have zero balance, im still a customer), so in the next few days appatrently i will get a call to come pick up my card. jesus, what am i to do? the guy kept say he understood where i was coming from. i dont think he did but he is obviously green and eager to help and i appreciated that. That will be one ghost laid to rest the card issue.

later