I have decided to take time out of London. Im going to visit a friend up in the north. I might just stay and vegetate or I might go to a wedding in Leeds. All his friends are getting married, he should really be feeling apprehensive, but it looks like the friends are resigned to him being the bachelor. Well, he did have a harroewing time with a protuguese senorita last year, still licking the wounds I guess.

It was a spur of the moment thing really. I think the countryside will do me good even if it rains all the time. I will get out of my stifling environment and get away from my woes if only for a few days.I'm not sure i should go to the wedding with him though, he said to bring nice clothes just in case i change my mind. I'm not bothered by not knowing anybody there, it wouldnt be a problem, i just want to rest. On the other hand it might not be such a bad idea. I caught the boquet at my friend's wedding so now im a bit weary of those flowers.I dont want to start thinking "tick tock tick tock".

Another good thing: the counsellor just called me. We made an appointment for nect week tuesday. But then she said to make sure i keep the appointment and that i need help because she has a long waiting list(in demand) and she doesnt want someone wasting time.what is with these people? first her cronie the doctor saying i must promise not to take all the pills I refused, and the counsellor saying i must make sure i need help. Hello, did ai not ask for it?

So, i demurely cut her off and told her of course i will keep the Ap because i need help and there is no point in wasting her time if i am not serious. That seemed to satisfy her. So we shall see how it goes. she tried to make me feel bad i think, telling me about her waiting list and the fact that the GP wrote a letter and asked her to see me as a priority. Should I be grateful or guilty? Hell no, it's their job to make assessments and recommedations. I dont have to beg and feel oh-so-grateful because she is seeing me sooner than she would have otherwsie. Or am i wrong in this good people?

I wont tear my hairs out over this, although I have seen a coupla grey strands.Very disturbing. my mum only greyed more after chemo so what's up with yours truly? despite all that, she did sound nice, and i wished her a good day(am i polite or am i polite?), princesses get taught before they can even walk, always ask, be gracious, say thank you. I draw the line at crossing legs at the ankles though. that's silly.

So hopefully i will be refreshed after 5days away and can sly the dragons with more vigor

Peace