I went to see a very interesting play called "who killed Mr Drum" based on a Balck South African Magazine during the 50's when apartheid was being enforced adn all that garbage. Quite a good play. I went with an journalist friend since it was press night. free wine, interesting conversation with excitable people. A man struck a conbveration with me and my friend seemed to get a bit jealous. I mean he could be my uncle, this friend, even dad come to think of it. The other man was older as well so I dont know what gives. we all nbantered but i sort of had to be the buffer.

One of the actors was actually in that"footballers wives". I did not raise that when i spoke to him. he is very cute but not too tall.

Now as we waited for the bus in Nottinghill gate to take us to the riverside studios, i fels a hand creep up my back. When i turned around, it was the deciever. he knew i was going with this friend of his and yet he seemed suprised. So this man says to him, "you've never seen your woamn looking so good and she is going with me" I alsmost said "I am not his woman but decided to let sleeping dogs lie for the moment. He hugged me, we chatted for a bit.he said goodbye, reluctantly it seemed and turned to hug me again. I was thinking what the hell is this? I used to want those hugs and he'd say im clinging. now that Im all indifferent and having fun with other people, he wants to be this caring friend or whatever. I went with the flow but read nothing into it.

Then the born again girl came up, she actually wanted to have a discussion right there. shes been trying to save both of us for over a year now, deceiver gave her a charming smile and ran, fortunately my bus had just come and so we had to go. she looked crushed! I have nothing against religion but dont shove it down my throat at every opportunity. I understand the principle behind it but heck i was out to see a play and not discuss our lord and saviour!

It was a great night, did not give deiever a second thought, i met lovely people and went home after midnight because my friend decided instead of hanging out at soho with the cast he had an option of being laid. I said after midnight??? I mean it was a bit shocking, but then to each his own. he got off the bus, caught a diffrent one and i hope he had a hell of a ride last night.

we have spoke of seeing the play me and deieiver. I will decide on that in thre next week. I might be going to a party tomorrow where he will be present. my indifference seems to be doing the trick. and i am not pretending, yes some things bother me but for the most part i am fine.
Although, irrationally I have been thinking we need to shag. whatever the hell for? because in all honesty, i wont get anything out of it...if you know what i mean so why put myself thru that. I do not want to think such thoughts otherwise i will drive myself mad. But i can see how easily i could do it. christ, dilemma that is no dilemma at all. I think its time to get some toys and love myself.

happy weekend