fuck this! i have just put my raw feelings down and the whole thing has gone and disappeared. I can't go back coz I have to rush out.
basically I saw a barbie who used me to hook up with the deceiver last year yesterday. It hurt me incredibly. there is emotional closeness there that we never had and I wanted to scream, such was the pain I felt inside.
Why did i have to see her? i mean this bitch pretended to be my friend. however, i could see he was inetersted so whats the point of fighting for someone who isnt into you anymore, or is giving u mixed signals and confusing you? I was too fucked up to get out anyway so i let the whole drama play out to the bitter end.
of course to this day he denieds that there is something between him and barbie, i mean even Stevie wonder and ray charles can see it, as can everyone else. who's foolin' who here?
Im not sure I should meet him tomorrow as scheduled, what i saw yesterday is just bringing back bad memories. How do i broach the subject though? i mean it's my issues not his. he doesnt give a shit and to him we could just pick up where we left off(you know a dog will take any bone it's offered). But this whole thing is wheighing on me and i need to get if off my chest.
I gotta rush, please let me know if there is anyway to recover a draft when its not posted yet.
