Hi, thIs may be a tired old tOpic but it's weighing doWn on me. Has anyone ever entered into a relationship, or something with someone that was doomed, got their heart shattered into a millin pieces and a lot of other thIngs that i will not mention at this present moment, fled the country, recovered for a bit and saw the person again months later? you think you are healed and everything is ok. you speak to each other as if nothing ever happened but i can feel myself simmering beneaththe surface.I'm not sure if it's the fact that we are s polite and laugh together, whether it's the in-betweeners that are still there that bug me. Or whether i'm jut weak and need help.
I guess whatt i really want is to bitch-slap this man, tell him how awful he was and continues to be and feel better about myself.Instead, I feel myself regressing to the little doormat i used to be. Ofcourse communication has always been a problem, but i had convinced myself that meeting up as friends and on my terms would be good closure since we never had that. Instead, I feel like I have opened up another can of worms, or atleast the lid is half open and a storm is brewing.
What am i to do? Until a week ago, i was very stable in my thoughts and what I wanted to do. I did not particularly want to see this person even though i wanted to (most women will understand and some men I'm sure.)
But it happened,(i mean the meeting), it was pleasant enough and now i feel a bit depressed. A tarot reader told me she sees a relationship from the past, that is unresolved coming to some sort of stabilty. huh?! She said i can do what i want and call the shots and i will actually be more domninant. Those poor cards, such important words. all bullshit Im afraid.
He doesnt want me,as a womanor as a friend. never really has. never will. Therein lies my malady,
SOMEONE HELP ME!!